Medical Student Life in Dominica

Psych... just a bit crazy?

2011-11-07T16:41:00.000-08:00

Didn't realize how long I have stopped having verbal diarrhea until I looked at the date I wrote here last! It's been 5 months! Got a bit caught up in the craziness of rotations and lost track of time (hopefully a good enough excuse). I have progressed and now I'm done with Surgery, Ob/Gyn, and Peds. My current rotation is Psychiatry and, needless to say, it's crazy...

I have done a few weeks of hospital consults and 1 week of inpatient service in a psych institution. But just from consults alone, I felt like this rotation is forcefully opening my eyes. I did not realize how prevalent depression is. Nor did I realize how many dysfunctional families there are out there. I don't think everyone is perfect but I did not think there were that many irresponsible parents out there. It is not rare to have a Psych patient tell heartbreaking stories of childhood and how they were mistreated and misguided by their parents. I have a lot of sympathy for some of those patients who end up developing anxiety, paranoia, or schizophrenia. The sadder thing is - there is no cure for most of those patients. The best thing you could do is to control their symptoms. But even with trials after trials of medications half of them still suffer (nevermind the countless side effects the medications bring with them). Overall, I feel that Psychiatry is somewhat a sad field. You need to be very stable and strong emotionally to be a physician in this field.

Peds was my rotation before Psych. To my surprise, I quite enjoyed it. Working with children was not as bad as I imagined it to be. NICU was great. With a slightly slower pace but a wonderful warm hearted team of physicians and nurses, many premature neonates were taken care of there. It was a very different and interesting atmosphere. I felt calm every single day when I was in the NICU. Even got to burp some little babies! That was fun :) PICU was also great but a lot more intense. There were a lot of asthma exacerbations, overdose, and head traumas (surprise?!). These kids range from a single digit in age to 18 years old. I was shocked to see so many head traumas in kids. I was more shocked to find out the cause of most of the head traumas is the lack of a bike helmet. Sigh... Safety precautions! Then I rotated in the ED again. Only this time, I stayed in the Peds section. I worked with amazing physicians who taught me a lot! I was happy to be reunited with ED for the second time. Next was outpatient Peds clinic. I also loved my experience there. Despite the fact that the illnesses are relatively mild compared to PICU or ED patients, I saw a variety of diseases and the atypical presentations in kids! (Kids are weird... period) I did somewhat get a headache from trying to memorize the immunization schedules...

Anyhow, just another day :) And that's my dog Taro. Take care everyone!

ER

2011-06-02T20:37:00.001-07:00

Finally I have entered my last month of Surgery rotation - all of June I will be swimming in the Emergency Department (yes, ER experience is included in Surgery for us). The thought alone gets me excited like no other. On Tuesday I already had my first ER shift with a fantastic resident. It was a 10hr shift and I walked out of it happy and still excited! One nice thing about the ER is the variety of cases you will get to see. Things never get boring and time just flies when you are running from one patient to the next.

I'm starting to get ready for my shelf exam that happens on June 24th. This will be interesting as it will be my first shelf exam in rotations. Lots of question marks regarding exam style and difficulty are yet to be answered... by my actually doing the exam I guess hahaha...

It's getting hot in Saginaw. Surprisingly this town reminds me of Dominica. Weird right? I at times feel like the island weather is here in Saginaw! The heat and humidity... what a wonderful combination... I'm not complaining though, as I do think that sunny days are amazingly beautiful :) They keep minds fresh and moods happy.

The next 3 days will be night floats for me in the ER. It will be interesting to see how I adjust working consecutive night shifts again. Last time I did that was in Vancouver at the Cancer Society. Took me a couple of days to switch... that stupid biological clock and its circadian rhythm! :) Good night everyone. Hope your dream takes you on a tropical vacation (I hope mine will...)

Living amongst tubes and sutures..

2011-05-10T15:34:00.001-07:00

Had a rough day yesterday working in the hospital. Sometimes certain situations and certain people make me feel like I'll never be good enough no matter how hard I work. I had been trying not to let these things bother me but I guess my defense finally had a hole punched in it... No worries though. Today I have already picked myself back up and got on with my life :) There is no use dwelling on unpleasant memories. Accept the fact that for some people you will never be good enough. Just do your best and you'll be at peace with yourself and the rest of the world.

Onto the cool stuff... I finally got to insert a Foley catheter and did it pretty quickly without any floundering. Honestly I was pretty proud of that. Now I just want to do more Foley's in the OR!!! Also saw an open tracheostomy done the other day. It was a pretty quick procedure but requires a LOT of attention to details, especially with the thyroid sitting in the way. I got pretty excited when my resident cut into the trachea and the air rushed out hissing... I know... I am a dork and a nerd hahahah :) Tomorrow we will be doing quite a few EGDs (esophagogastroduodenoscopies). That should be exciting since they'll be my first cases! Lots to learn. My brain is on a persistent high these days... along with stress. What a rush!

Carry on my friends! Show the rest of the world (especially those who don't believe in you) that you CAN!

I See You

2011-05-07T13:49:00.000-07:00

What I really mean is... ICU. That's the spot in the hospital that I have been visiting a lot. A completely different ball game compared to regular inpatients on the floors. I still find it a little overwhelming when I start on a new ICU patient every time. Most of the time they will have an extremely long and complicated medical history with multiple hospital visits. And they will mostly likely have multiple tubes entering and exiting their bodies that I need to be following. The vitals, I/O, fluids, and wound care. I'm still learning...

At least it has been really sunny here and today I have half a day off. And tomorrow I don't have to wake up at 4am! That thought alone always brings me joy these days hehe :) Still a never-ending amount of reading but all of it is actually very interesting. A lot of information but hopefully it will all stick at some point. Oh surgery...

Mother's day is TOMORROW everyone! Don't forget to send your mom some hugs and love :) They are the best and totally deserve it. Love you mom!! Wish I could be there with you... Enjoy the weekend!

1/3 Way through...

2011-04-29T11:21:00.000-07:00

Back from the dead. Sort of. That's if I don't count the sleep deprivation. Today is the last day of my first month in surgery. I'm on call tonight. And the following Monday I am starting under a different attending. 2 more months to go! :)

I have been learning a lot just rounding everyday on my own and with my residents/attendings. One thing I have realized is I like being at the bedside. In my first 2wk I was in the OR assisting surgeries. Most of those patients were outpatients with a post-op stay of 5hr max, so I never got to talk to them and know them. The only chance I had to talk to those patients were during the pre-op hour when they were getting prepped for surgery. However, when I started working with the trauma team I had a lot more exposure to inpatient care. Most trauma patients had to be in the hospital for days, some even weeks. Common injuries included falls (w head injuries), MVA, gunshots etc. I really enjoyed working with trauma. We got to follow up with patients everyday, learn their medical hx and follow their progress. I'm certainly getting better at writing those SOAP notes (so many everyday...) I feel.

Saginaw is quiet. Despite the unexpected snow/hail earlier this month, the weather has turned around. We are supposed to get sunshine all week coming up. I'm excited even though I'll probably not see much of the sunshine...

Missing home a little bit. And missing my friends. Hope everyone is doing well :)

Surgery

2011-04-12T15:58:00.000-07:00

Finally I get to take a breather mentally and physically. Time to look back and try to remember what on earth happened in the past week! Surgery rotation has been tough. You can say it's intense, scary, exhausting, whatever terrifying adjectives you can think of - they all apply here. Having it as the first rotation ever also makes it just a little bit harder.

However, I am still alive.

Sleep is overrated. At least I have to keep telling myself that. Being on the hospital floors 12hr a day on average gets crazy after a while. You are always on the go. When your pager goes off, you'd better get your butt to where you are needed stat. The surgeries are fun but can be 'labour intensive'. When I scrubbed in for 4 surgeries in a row on day 1 and 3 in a row today, my legs nearly gave! Need iron legs if your goal is to become a surgeon. So far I have gotten to assist in surgeries and have had a few opportunities to suture. Also got a chance to being on the trauma floor with my resident when I was oncall.

Yes, I am sleep-deprived. Yes, I need to buy groceries. Yes, I need to read lots and lots of pages before I sleep tonite... :) Yes, I am a crazy medical student.

Getting closer.

2011-03-29T15:12:00.001-07:00

Finally I can take a breath. Inhale past my dangerously inflamed tonsils. Pain!!!! Not sure how I survived the past 4 days with a fever and sore throat, yet still got a car, shopped for the new place, and got the essentials. I feel tired right now, mostly from the sickness. But all is good :) The basics are done. And I can focus on settling into my new place before rotation starts (in 5 days). First one is surgery and I just got notified today that I may be getting OB as the second rotation (also with Synergy). Will update once I get a confirmation.

I have been on a more or less liquid diet because of my throat. And even liquids hurt me when I swallow. Sooooo miserable. I want this pain to leave me for good!

The picture is a view to the outside from my (new) table hehe! Nothing fancy. Just cheap student furniture. There is lots of snow outside from over the weekend (which I gladly missed). Temperature is slowly going up but still low. I miss the Vancouver climate. Oh well, suck it up right? Yes yes...

Leaving again... but not on a jet plane.

2011-03-23T14:27:00.000-07:00

This time I am busing to Seattle first and flying from there. Another big move... this time without the precious help of a roommate who knows everything. A bit stressed with everything that's going on. Plus I am missing a couple of documents, which means I have to re-enter US at some point to obtain my visa.

Going to explode...

Next destination: Michigan - again?

2011-03-17T11:11:00.000-07:00

A few days ago I got a call from the school office. We worked out my initial schedule with my first rotation. It will be SURGERY. Yes... we shall see if that's a blessing or a curse. But it'll be at Synergy again in Michigan. That I am very happy about since I plan to do most of my rotations there. But time is tight now. The rotation starts on Apr 1 and I have a crap ton of things to take care of and/or prepare before the start date.

My long list of things to do included finding a place to stay, figuring out the best flight, finding a friend who can get me from the airport (no transit in Saginaw to take me to my place), contacting student loan services and on and on.... The moving is going to be a bit difficult this time, having to get furnitures on my own. We shall see how that works out.

Oh boy, will be on my way again in just over a week... Happy St. Patty's!

First step is over!

2011-03-09T20:26:00.000-08:00

I received my score this morning for my USMLE Step 1 :) I won't be sharing my exact score publicly but what I can say is that I am happy with what I got (in all honesty I expected worse!). Caught me by surprise as I did not expect the score to come out today. This past weekend I spent my time in Seattle and got back to Van yesterday. And inevitably last nite was my catch-up-on-sleep night... so this morning I was still cloudy in the head when I checked my email. But was definitely getting palpitations when I realized my score report was only one click away!!

Finally I am going to be starting my rotations! So excited! We shall see what the future has in store.

What do I do with all this free time??

2011-02-23T10:21:00.000-08:00

So the dreadful Step 1 is over. Well it was over on Thursday. I spent this amazing past weekend enjoying the city with great food and company. Today is sunny. And for the first time since a long time ago I am standing in the sunshine soaking it all in, letting the warm feeling flow through me. I can't stop smiling. Work hard and play hard. It is pure, beautiful magic.

Thanks to all the friends, family, and fellow medical students who sent me words of encouragement when I was feeling scared, anxious, nervous. With your support I made it over another obstacle, even though it is only one of the many to come. But you know, I am not scared. I know I have it in me. And I know you have it in you. Also we have one another. What is there to be scared of? Strength is a form of energy and it definitely transforms depending on the temperature of the situation. But it will always be strength.

I am still a bit antsy, knowing that my score is still yet to come out. But I am not going to hold back and prevent myself from enjoying my much-deserved free time! Yes, I am a med student and I put myself through what may seem like unreasonable torture. But the reason behind my behaviour comes through once in a while. It is the ultimate release that keeps me pushing my limits. And I love it.

No regrets.

3 more days

2011-02-14T10:03:00.000-08:00

Monday, cloudy with showers. But I feel calm. This could be the calm before the storm but for now I am at complete ease. Gonna try to just go over some of my weaker areas between now and, well, wednesday. And will be taking Wednesday off before I do the exam on Thursday.

I don't feel completely ready for this exam. But I don't think I had ever felt entirely ready for any exams in my life. However, I feel that I have done all the studying I could so far and my brain is starting to get tired. That is how I know it's time for me to do the exam.

Will go running later today to keep my mind relaxed and fresh :) Have a good Monday everyone!

11 More Days!

2011-02-05T22:58:00.000-08:00

Alright, alright... this countdown is a bit too fast! At least that is what it feels like to me. On one hand I am excited that I will be ending my miserable mad studying for a few weeks... on the other? Well, ask the nerves. I spoke with a friend who just took her Step 1 a few days ago. Talk about envy! I was feeling it... hahaha I just want this OVER with. But of course, I still need to do well. This is an exam that you can't just say 'I don't care' to.

I am consciously suppressing my thoughts that involuntarily drift towards holiday planning... Yeah, there will be so much free time after I finish this exam and I will be having my vacation while everyone else is working! Even though it's not summer I think I will be on cloud nine.

Lately I have been just going over blocks and blocks of questions since I have finished reading the texts. Lots to learn it feels like... never enough time. What is new?? Hahaha the typical medical student mentality. Anyhow, gotta rest and continue tmr! Good nite world.

Still alive...

2011-01-28T19:43:00.000-08:00

I feel like I disappeared for a little bit. But I'm back. There are 20 days left till my Step 1 exam. I hope I will feel ready by the time it comes - trying not to push it back based on my pre-exam anxiety.

Studying has been really slow. Some sections like Neurology takes SO LONG for me to absorb. I ended up not going to the library because I am too lazy to travel. So since day 1 I have been studying at home, and it has been working out great. Lots of things have happened since - the good, the bad, the fear, the excitement. But you know what? You just gotta roll with it. No one promised that it is going to be a smooth ride. As long as you focus on your goal and deal with the curveballs thrown at ya, a little bump here and there makes things more fun :)

I have some friends who had to retake the Comp recently. And I admire them so much for trying again! That is true courage, regardless of the results. Compared to them I feel like I could learn to be stronger sometimes. Getting through medical school is a tough job. It is an unpaid full-time job with lots of over-time, still unpaid. Some may say otherwise. But for a person like me - average intelligence, average endurance, addicted to sleeping - I find it challenging. Yet, these challenges are what I live for. I am ok with not being the top of my class. I am ok with the extra hours I have to put in just to get a decent grade. If someone asks me whether they should goto med school, I will still say yes - but I will suggest that they first find ways to reaffirm their passion.

Lately through talking to some friends from time to time, I realized that what makes or breaks you is (for the most part) decided by you. We have the upper hand in most situations but we don't always see that. Maybe that is when good friends come in handy as they become the reflection of your inner strength. Yes, you need to see it again. Over and over.

Keep on moving. Because we are all in this together.

More things I learned...

2011-01-10T10:15:00.000-08:00

1. Mittelschmerz is an actual word. It means 'ovulatory pain'. Occurs in a small portion of women of reproductive age. Basically the follicle containing the ovum ruptures (ovulation) and releases some blood, which ends up irritating the peritoneum. In some women this causes pain and could look like she is having an acute appendicitis.

2. If you keep your neck submerged in water, such as sitting in the deep end of kids pool - after a few minutes you'll get the urge to pee. That is due to the effect of stimulation of the carotid body, which with an unknown mechanism increase release of ANP (atrial natriuretic peptide). ANP increases Na+ loss through urine, thereby increasing urine output. You may feel too guilty to pee in the pool, but the kids won't...

3. If a patient has low blood sugar, check serum level of c-peptide. If c-peptide is high, you know the patient probably has an insulinoma (tumor of beta-cells of pancreas). If c-peptide is low, well, the patient has been stabbing him/herself with insulin needles too often!! The latter is called a factitious disorder, where the patient is conscious of his/her doing, but without a particular motive.

4. Atkin's diet. I'm sure we've all heard of it. It's based on the idea that fat cells can't absorb fat on their own. They need glucose (carbohydrate). So if you eat a lot of meat without any carbohydrate then all of the fat eaten is not absorbed. But come on.... carbohydrate tastes so good!! Think about all those freshly baked loaves of bread...

Happy Monday! :)

Some things I learned today...

2011-01-03T17:04:00.000-08:00

When you get bored, think of the following...

1. Next time someone has garlic breath, a fun thought is that they are suffering from Arsenic poisoning (stomach pain, vomiting, delirium). Antidote is Dimercaprol to remove Arsenic from inactivated enzymes.

2. Thiopental is used in induction of anesthesia due to its short-acting nature. It's rapid plasma decay is due to redistribution into skeletal muscle and fat, NOT due to metabolism (although hepatic metabolism is required for it to be eliminated from body).

3. If someone stinks after sweating, it's because his or her skin bacteria are doing a very good job (and perhaps he or she needs to shower soon). Apocrine glands secrete vesicles of 'sweat' into hair follicles. But this usually has no odor. Odor comes from bacterial activity on skin surface!

4. 'Water-balloon' testes are due to serous peritoneal fluid flowing into and collecting in tunica vaginalis.

5. If you poke someone's perianal area with a pin and do not see a reflexive sphincter contraction, they might have Saddle Anesthesia. This is often caused by Cauda equina syndrome where a ruptured disc or a space-occupying lesion compresses the cauda equina.

Back to studying!!

Happy new year!

2010-12-31T23:36:00.000-08:00

Once again, I don't know how this year just flew by... Med school keeps pulling wool over my eyes and clouding my initially 20/20 vision haha... All is good though. I'm sure that by tomorrow night I will have finished reviewing the materials entirely for the first time (phew). Of course it needs to be repeated, preferably more than once. I have been doing UWorld questions and find them to be somewhat difficult. Lots of thinking and integrating are required! But I'm definitely learning a lot from those questions. The only thing is that I am moving slower than I had hoped to. Unfortunately I can't rush myself to be any faster - my brain only processes at this cursed speed... sigh.

There are 10 more minutes till Jan 1st of 2011. I spent (most of) today studying. Only took a few hours off to eat dinner with family and to bond with my guitar :) I love learning to play the acoustic. Just wish I had more time for it. Hahah.. so many wishes!!

Many of my friends are celebrating tonite on this special NYE. And I truly wish I could be there. But I have to set my priority straight this time. Just 40 more days and it'll be show time. I gotta be ready :) To all my buddies out there who are getting crazy tonite - ENJOY (extra for me)! For the other med students slaving away like I am, keep going because we are almost there!

And happy 2011 - only 2 more years till we get the golden license.

Need some juice...

2010-12-27T23:12:00.000-08:00

Does anyone know where brain juices are sold? I prefer the kinds with super high IQ levels. It's been 2.5 weeks of studying for the Step and I'm finding it a bit exhausting. While I do feel that my brain is enlarging in weird areas as I study away, I find myself often fantasizing about sleeping in and not having to wake up till noon.... Kinda pathetic, huh.

Vancouver has been extremely rainy, cloudy, and cold (winter?). Perhaps that helps to keep me home at my desk chewing away at the endless information I need to shove into my skull. I really do wish I had a photographic memory of some sort. Why was I not born with that awesome genetic mutation??? ;) Don't worry... I am happy with how I was born. Certain things can not be changed, such as how many noses you have (and I only have one).

I'm starting to notice that Endocrinology is not my strength at all. I guess you could group some Physiology in it too. Some concepts take me forever to think through and memorize. Then, what happens? I forget in a few hours.... UGH!! I wonder if it is this frustrating for anyone else who is studying for a board exam. Alright, I think I shall look over some flashcards and goto bed.

Good night everyone! Hope you don't get insomnia... :)

Step 1... quite literally..

2010-12-15T15:39:00.000-08:00

It's been 1.5wk since I arrived home in Vancouver. And it's been 5 days of studying, according to my scheduled plan, for USMLE Step 1. So far so good. What I find is that I actually am able to study at home, for now anyway, contrary to my previous belief. The biggest bonus of studying at home is the fact that I don't have to properly dress myself everyday or fix my crazy bed-hair in order to present myself in public. Hooray for the bum life! Another awesome benefit is that I could get up and move around or stretch or dance around the house whenever my butt hurts (from long-term sitting). This definitely would not be as convenient if I was in a public library - disturbance is not tolerated in those places! Of course, I can't forget to mention how wonderful it is being able to see my parents and my kitty Miho :)

I have been maintaining my gym time, although it has been reduced to 3 times a week only. It works like magic - those crazy endorphins are my friends! Before I started my Step prep, I asked for advice from many friends/students who have already taken the Step 1 exam. I wanted to know how they pulled themselves through the 2 months (minimal) of mental brutality. And a consensus was to always include a stress relief into the study plan. However, I can't seem to be as 'stick-to-the-plan' as some when it comes to exercise. Some students goto the gym everyday at 6pm, for example. I can't do that... haha too lazy on some days! So I try to listen to my body and brain as much as I can. When my brain farts, I know it's time for a workout, no matter what time in the day it is... Oh those glorious brain-farting moments!

Ok back to work!

Christmas and study plans..

2010-12-08T11:30:00.000-08:00

So happy to have finally arrived home. Being away for so long really made me realize how much I am blessed with and how much I missed home. After a few days of rest and being surrounded by my lovely family, I am going to organize a study schedule today and start my Step 1 bootcamp this weekend. Here it is. It's show time. This is going to be a real test of my determination and self discipline. It's a fresh start and a challenge. All that I claim to be is going to be proven now.

In the past 2 years I have experienced all sorts of ups and downs, covering the entire spectrum of human emotions. There were times when I felt to be on top of the world and other times when I just wanted to stop and give up all hopes. What brought through this craziness? Real friends and an amazing family. It sounds super corny, I know. But nothing can be more true than this. When you go through trouble, friendships are tested and many fail. The few that are left are the ones that you know you must treasure :)

And of course, my furry baby Miho keeps me alive always!

Home... almost :)

2010-12-04T06:03:00.000-08:00

A cup of dark chocolate mocha and a toasted bagel. My guitar and myself. Even the delay at SeaTac airport doesn't seem so bad now. Last nite was a bit of a disappointment when my first flight (Alaska) did not take off for almost 2hr with all the passengers sitting in the cabin. I knew I was going to miss my connecting flight in Seattle and my fear was confirmed shortly afterwards. Got a hold of my mom and told her I was not going to see her for another 7hr. Alaska airlines put us in a hotel close by for the night and paid for our stay. I was happy they did that - can't imaging being delayed AND feeling unkempt early in the morning. I slept for 2hr last nite. And the night before I slept for 4.5hr because of the final next morning. Loaded myself on caffeine at the airport and now I feel great!

Today, I can truly say that USMLE Step 1 is my very next TARGET :) Bring it. Because I'm on my way and determined.

Finally, after 2yr I am home again and this time for more than just 1wk. I missed ya, Vancouver.

Below 0

2010-11-25T06:07:00.001-08:00

9 more days until I pack my bags again, until I board another plane and leave Michigan. I feel like a traveler these days. Never stable in one place, always on the go. My bags are easy to reach, as if waiting to be filled again any time. Unfortunately this will be my life for another couple of years at least.

It has snowed in Vancouver, but still not yet in Saginaw. Temperature, however, has dropped to below zero in both cities. I contemplated running this morning, yet eventually opted for a tub of Häagen-Dazs instead. I just knew I needed it. One can think of it as replenishing the fuel. Yesterday I also found a cheese-free pizza! Interesting huh...

I'll be studying from today till the final for both the final exam and the 200 point check list physical exam. Focus. Go for it. Then go home. This week many of my classmates flew or drove home for the American Thanksgiving. Just me and another friend left here in our complex. Kinda lonely. But a good way to keep me focused on studying. 5th semester is almost over and Step 1 is almost here. Let's do this!

Flu - away!

2010-11-14T04:22:00.000-08:00

Waking up early morning to cool air is never something I enjoyed. But my roomie is a furnace so I try not to leave the heat on. Sigh... will my body never learn to regulate my core temperature??

Wednesday I went to the flu clinic and administered 3 shots. It was a wonderful experience! My nurse said I did well :) The first shot was a bit scary with all the human emotions and empathy coming into the mix. Am I going to hurt the patient? What if the patient flexes? What if I don't inject correctly? All those questions were flying through my head until I realized that you just need to focus on that one spot on the deltoid and give it one quick stab. The needle slips in smoothly as the patient feels a slight pinch. Then it's done. Quick and easy.

Thursday night I submitted my 18page patient case report. It was a long day trying to finish the last section and polish the entire paper. Clicking the 'Submit' button never felt so good. Well, I guess it's going to happen again soon with this second paper I'm writing.

Friday we had ACLS class/stations all day. It was fun and educational. But it made me feel that I have a lot to learn! My brain didn't execute very well under super high pressure in life-threatening situation. But hopefully I'll get better as I become more familiar with the ACLS algorithms and the drugs/dosages given for each circumstance.

Time for a run outside I think... Gotta break through the clouds somehow!

'Cause you are amazing...

2010-11-08T20:45:00.000-08:00

People say confidence can get you to places that you may not be able to reach otherwise. It is partially true. My experience here at Synergy as well as my classmates' experiences are opening up my eyes. As medical students many of us tend to be hard on ourselves and sometimes that sends off a vibe of anxiety, incompetence, and self-doubt. Often we need to remind ourselves that we know more than we think! Look at the exams we do - we walk out of it drowning in a sense of failure, but pleasantly surprised when we get our grades (not always the case but most of the time it is true). A patient that I examined once said to me after I told her I was slightly nervous during the procedure, "I could not tell at all that you were nervous! You totally knew what you were doing. " I always find that interesting and encouraging. Guess we just gotta believe in ourselves a bit more. Have more faith and know that you can.

I have been talking to some fellow Ross students who are currently going through the first 2 years slaving away. And it is interesting to see things in retrospect. I was there and I was stressed. Encouragement and support were what I needed. I wanted to hear someone tell me that I was capable of finishing that race. I wanted to hear those words while I felt as though I was never going to make it. I just want to say to everyone who is trying hard out there and feeling like the end is nowhere in sight - yes, it is just around the corner.

And yes, you can!

On that note, I am going to try to goto bed now and wake up early to finish my paper so I can write more papers...

1 month...

2010-11-06T18:33:00.000-07:00

Had a crazy week, which is going to continue into the following week as well. Perhaps all the way till the semester ends now. But I can do it! :) I had my OB/GYN rotation on Wednesday and it was great! Got a bit nervous but hid it well. With the help of the OB I did a decent pelvic and breast exam on my patient. It was quite an experience - enjoyed the fact that I could put my book knowledge into practice.

It is getting really cold here in Saginaw. However, it has not snowed yet. Soon though - that's what the weather man said. My thickest winter jacket almost feels as if it's too thin! The coldness just gets into my bones...

I learned a new song on guitar during my non-study hours. If You Want Me by Marketa. I am finally getting somewhat comfortable with singing and playing at the same time. It does not help though that I am no guitar pro... ;) Also went out for dinner with a couple of friends from my class. It was great. I love our offside comments to each other and random sarcasm blended in with casual conversations.

I believe my flu clinic is coming up this next Wednesday at which I will be administering flu shots for people. That should be interesting as it will be my first time sticking needles in real human beings.

Alright I should get back to my papers... good nite y'all!

High Winds!

2010-10-27T16:12:00.000-07:00

Pretty windy today. The news says Saginaw will be getting winds at 60mph. I went out for a run and almost got swept off my feet. I had to stop running for a moment and steady myself to avoid falling over. It was an enjoyable run nevertheless. Autumn is here and all the leaves are racing one another. Turning golden and leaping into the whistling air. As I ran I stepped over fallen branches and piles of dried leaves on the ground. The sound of autumn was everywhere. I liked getting caught in the middle of a powerful gust of wind and having leaves dancing across my body as I push myself through the thin air. The sun was warm and shining brightly. I must say that this season might just be the most beautiful one in my mind.

Back home now studying like a mad person. Midterm on Friday and a few papers due in the following week. Things are starting to pick up pace and I quite like it. One more month in Saginaw.

ps. African cats are the best.

Let the game begin!

2010-10-22T04:17:00.000-07:00

I know this may sound trivial to many, but...

I REGISTERED FOR USMLE STEP 1 TODAY!! It's finally feeling real and exciting, yet super intimidating. One exam, one chance to make it count. Gotta believe that I can do it!

Damn, it is starting to feel good already... Buckle up because the road is about to get a little bumpy!

CRxSP

2010-10-19T18:53:00.000-07:00

Today was the start of another meaningful journey in my life. A friend in the same class and I signed up to volunteer at a free clinic/pharmacy to help the underserved American population. After waiting for over 2wk, we finally got a call asking us to go in Tuesday morning.

Woke up at 0630am, got dressed, and made myself some delicious breakfast. I decided that today had to be great. My friend picked me up at my place and we drove to the site singing in the car. Well, actually it was just me singing and my friend laughing at me... The sun pierced the clear glass and felt warm on my skin. Pleasant on a cold morning. We drove across the bridge connecting the flanks of the river and there it was - a plain cement office building sitting on a quiet street corner. Eagerly we got out of the car and went on in to find out what lay ahead.

The program was called Community Prescription Support Program (CRxSP) - it is a nonprofit organization that serves the medically uninsured population in Saginaw, Michigan. The staff were amazing. Very friendly and dedicated. CRxSP at our location had only one RN, one pharmacist, and a few social workers. Most are volunteers. The doctor would go in once a week to review charts and adjust medications as needed by the individual patients. You might not think very highly of a small place like that with such a small staff. But they get on average 60 patients a day! DO THE MATH! That is incredible! 60 patients a day makes 1800 patients a month! These 1800 patients would have been paying $2500 a year for prescription with the money they don't have!

This is a pioneer program involving us medical students. We are the first group to be experimented on - and I love it! Our doctor is amazing. He has already retired but volunteers his time to this free clinic/pharmacy every week, brings in medicine and supplies, and reviews patient files to ensure optimal patient care. Today was our first session and we did not get to see patients. But we were thoroughly introduced to the neat little expanding program and managed to go through 8 charts from various patients needing long term prescription. Our doctor made us think, asked us our opinions on the treatment plan, and treated us like colleagues. I felt good. Also felt that I need to study harder! ;)

Next Tuesday we will have our second session. This time it will be in the actual clinic and not the pharmacy. And we will be able to do physical exams on these patients to assess their progress. Tomorrow I have my OBGYN rotation in the hospital and will be doing a pelvic exam on a patient. I hope I will also be able to attend a delivery (although chances are slim).

One thing I know is that today was amazing and I will sleep well tonite! Keep on truckin'!

Back to back to back

2010-10-15T03:35:00.000-07:00

Wow, I certainly didn't realize time has just flown by here! It's almost half way through our semester. Since last time I wrote here we have had a suture clinic, and THAT was fun! We practiced our suturing on pig skin (on their hooves, to be specific). They taught us the 3 main ways of suturing: simple suture, vertical mattress, and horizontal mattress. I got pretty good at it eventually. Perhaps that had something to do with me liking to sew.

Then we had an OB clinic in which we learned how to properly deliver a baby. It's not as simple as you think - there are certain ways you need to hold a baby or help it come out before it flies off or drops onto the floor. They can be slippery! Unfortunately we only did a simulation - so no real delivery just yet. But at least now I know how I am supposed to bring a little life to the world :)

Our ACLS course has started and today we actually have a full day of procedures. We will be learning how to put in a central venous line and how to do a lumbar puncture etc. All the way from 7:45am to 5:00pm... I hope the day turns out to be awesome!

I got a guitar for myself since I last wrote on here and it has turned my world around. There is something about music, especially when it's produced from strings. That resonance - it penetrates you and makes you vibrate along with it. I'm gonna keep at it to see how fast I can learn new songs. Keeping me busy for sure! Alright everyone, will update soon. Have a good day even if it's cloudy outside!

Searching

2010-10-02T15:12:00.000-07:00

Finally got a friend to email me the photo taken of us during scrub training. It was a fun experience. The opening performance of a long journey. Bring it.

Wednesday I had my wound clinic where I got to be one-on-one with a doctor. It was amazing - I followed him into every exam room. Looked at different ulcers on 8 patients. Observed debridement and cauterization. I even had a few opportunities to assist the doctor in a few procedures. Checked out the HBO chambers and learned about the criteria patients have to meet in order to use those. What made me feel so happy that day was when I got to chat with a few of the patients and listened to them laugh wholeheartedly even throughout their painful debridement. It brought me back to the pre-med years when I was still working with the cancer patients back home. I felt true happiness.

Thursday I visited the geriatrics again and did physical exam on my lovely patient. This time things were a bit smoother. My partner and I work well together. We are at the same pace and neither of us dominates the conversation. It is great! At the end of the day we all got assigned a project/presentation. I will be working on it right after I finish updating.

Onto something a bit personal, recently I have been feeling a bit lonely in Michigan. It's a strange and interesting feeling. Kind of like what I felt near the end of 4th semester on the island. Don't get me wrong - my classmates are good people and I do have a few close friends here. But everyone is so scattered and has their own schedule. Since I first started talking and making my own friends, I have been spoiled with precious friendships and neverending heart-to-heart conversations. Well, these are not there any more. At least haven't been there for a long time. I don't know if it is the distance or my choice of career... I miss my friends. My real friends. Those who will laugh with you about stupid things you say and are not afraid to tell you when you make a mistake. Those who don't just smile and compliment because they might need you later as a stepping stone. Why don't some people realize that fake and genuine smiles are very easy to tell apart?

A good friend told me that I should go out and join some kind of club. Meet new people or something. Yes, I considered that. But with my schedule right now everything other than school-related things seems so impossible. Ok, I don't mean to sound depressing today... haha. Alright, here is something cheerful - I ran 8.5 miles yesterday all the way down to one of our hospitals and back! Totally thought that was 6 miles until I mapped it out (yes I map my running routes...). I surprised myself even though my joints were kind of shaky near the end.. sigh, the lack of training... Good night everyone!

PS. Check out my ID! I have a face now :)

Beep beep...

2010-09-28T17:22:00.000-07:00

Today was relaxing. I got a ride in the morning to the Synergy library and spent my entire day there. Studied some, printed some, and wandered through the hospital hall ways. It's official - I LOVE the smell of a sterile environment, mmmmm!

I ran into residents, doctors, nurses, and social workers - all on their feet going places, talking to patients and each other, flipping through charts, and responding to the non-stop paging... That will be me soon! Can't wait! But to get there, I'm starting from the bottom of the ladder again. This time things are serious every step of the way.

Tomorrow I have my wound care clinic. Will update then!

Noise, may not be a bad thing

2010-09-22T06:41:00.001-07:00

I adore the amazing photographs of thunderstorms. The pure beauty of nature. However since I could remember things I had always been scared of them. It's the noise, the power, the intimidation. While I was still on the island of Dominica there were many tropical thunderstorms. I have stayed awake at night during each one of those with my pillow around my head, unable to fall asleep, wishing it would stop right there right then. I would play my music as loud as I could, trying my best to drown out the thunder. However, my effort was always in vain.

Last night there was a thunderstorm here in Saginaw. I flinched at the first sight of lightning, grunted and cursed under my breath. Then the thunder came, somewhat gently, almost mockingly. My finger found the 'up' buttom for the volume and kept pressing it till my eardrum was tingly. I was listening to a piano solo by Andrew Ross called Diving In. A second lightning came through and my room lit up for a brief second, exposing every inch of darkness. The thunder rolled in quickly after, this time loud and powerful. I noticed that I did not cringe this time. And quite surprising, I was semi-enjoying it along with the piano solo bouncing around in my head. I pulled up some pictures of thunderstorms right then and caught myself being amazed once again by their majestic nature. The way they just take over.

Then another thunder rolled in.

Last night the thunderstorm lasted for no more than 30min. I stayed up again during the entire time, unable to sleep. But this time I wished it to be longer, because I was just starting to fall in love with its noise, its power, its intimdating nature. And of course, its grace.

1st week over...

2010-09-19T12:00:00.000-07:00

Finally eased back into a study mode after the exhausting break and first week of school. I was going to update a bit earlier but got sick 2 days ago with a fever yesterday. But I feel fine now. Blame the sickness on the cold cold days in Saginaw - the worse is to come? Haha oh boy...

Anyhow, last week after some neverending orientation lectures we started some real lectures. Ophthalmology and Geriatrics were the main focus. The lectures in 5th differ from those in the first few semesters in that now they are longer and can have one doctor lecturing for hours before switching to something else. Lectures may or may not be scheduled in different locations so we have to drive around between lectures sometimes. I am not complaining because my friends in Miami have it much worse - what takes us 15min may take them over 1hr in traffic. Plus, I get driven around by my lovely friends here in Saginaw :) No complaints!

We also scrubbed in for the first time on Thursday last week. I know those who are already doctors may think it's silly but I was excited about that. Even though it was just getting us accustomed to the strict procedures of cleaning a surgeon has to go through before entering the OR, I almost felt like a doctor. We had to scrub our hands/arms many times in a specific order, leave our hands up, enter the OR and dry our hands/arms in sequence, and then have someone gown us and glove us. It was pretty neat. Pretty sterile ;)

This coming week I will be starting my clinics with the real patients. I will for sure update on that. I'm eager to learn more and faster (if only I wasn't limited by my brain capacity)! For now, I'm gonna do some reading to prep for what's to come. Hang in there everyone! You are only getting closer to where you want to be!

Almost opening another book...

2010-09-11T15:58:00.000-07:00

After tomorrow it will be Monday again. Kinda special because it's the start of our 5th semester here in Saginaw, Michigan. I finally got settled in with my roommate and have the basic paper work taken care of. Moving is a pain in the butt, even with just a few suitcases. We bought a few pieces of simple furniture here locally - and you can bet that saved us a lot of money (people seem to try to rip you off everywhere you go). We are staying at Green Acres and I am in love with the environment here. Everyone is close by - I know about 8 classmates living in the adjacent buildings from my own.

Studying has been difficult with all the errands at hand and papers to sign to get myself settled in before school hits me in the face. I'm just hoping for the best on Monday when I take the Comp at 0745am - YES, in the morning, BEFORE orientations, we will be examined on everything we have learned in the past... 16months! Oh, Ross... only you would.

Here are some pictures of my place and one view from my balcony - I wish I could take one of those super wide views to encompass what I see with my own eyes here. But I don't know how... so you will have to bear with me.

Anyhow, I'm gonna finish my dinner (yes I am cooking now!) and start the dishwasher... then some more review. Will touch base again on Monday! ps. Look how many closets we have in our apartment! It is amazing!!! Too bad I don't have enough stuff to fill them all....

In Saginaw...

2010-09-05T15:34:00.001-07:00

A place with a cool sun, at least that's what it feels like here in Saginaw. The air is crisp and gives a sensation of early winter for a person coming from Vancouver, like me. Our area is really nice and appears safe. Once I get settled in I will take some pictures.

I slept on my friend's couch last night - could be worse I guess. Two more nights like this and then I will be able to move into my own apartment. Stupid labour day weekend!! Why did no one warn me about that?

Gotta go study now. Will update soon!

Fly away, fly away with me!

2010-08-30T22:12:00.000-07:00

Can't believe I have to leave again in 5 days. Time flies, just like I do every so often. I wonder if I will ever get used to this floating life style - I always thought I was more of a 'settling down' type of person. Traveling so much with luggage just isn't my thing (ie. the act of being on the road or in air). Anyhow, it is good to be home. I finally started getting my fitness back. All I can say is oh my goodness! I think the island sucked out my soul and fitness entirely haha. When I stepped back into these running shoes attempting to connect with my marathon fitness again, I thought for a second that my bones were going to fall apart. But it was not as bad as I anticipated :) All is good now and I feel great! Who knows how long this 'fit' feeling will last with school starting soon again...

I have spent most of my time at home since I got back, with my parents and my awesome Egyptian prince Miho. Also trying to study for the Comp. It is difficult to motivate myself but I must keep pushing. I hope my friends in Vancouver forgive me for not going out this break. Half of my things got re-packed again tonite. This time there are a lot of fall/winter clothes, preparing for the cold cold weather. Secretly, I hate that thought. I am from Canada, yes... but from Vancouver NOT Toronto haha. I have always been spoiled with good climate, so visiting Michigan will be interesting.

I finally had all my paperwork done for 5th semester and had them faxed. My titers and boosters are done as well. I just hope crossing the US border will be smooth (fingers and toes crossed) as I heard that for some Canadian students there had been problems previously. Oh I certainly don't need any of that ;)

Have a good night everyone!

Survived once again...

2010-08-24T15:00:00.000-07:00

After a 2wk hibernation I am back again. I just want to say Thank You to all my friends and family who prayed for me during my exam weeks. The support has been amazing and essential in my passing 4th semester and making it to 3rd year of medical school.

Truthfully, I did not think I was going to make it due to the excruciating final exams. The night before the grades came out I had a nightmare about me failing 4th and having to go back to Dominica for another semester. In the last 2 weeks of school, ie the weeks of hell, I was drained physically and spiritually. I felt like I could not do it any longer. The nonstop learning and the very little time had me discouraged and exhausted. And after I walked out of my first set of final exam in the morning, I prepared myself for the worst.

The grades did not come out for a few days since I got back home in Vancouver. My parents told me that I even looked very stressed out. My mom was worried about me becoming depressed... Pretty much I was a mess for a few days. Then the email came with the grades. I did not hesitate to open up the file to face the truth. If it was pain I was going to receive, I wanted it to be fast. Then there it was - my grades in black and the MPS in red. I quickly skimmed my grades and scrolled down to check the MPS. My heart was pounding and my head was hurting. When I went through the last subject without a fail, I ran to my dad and screamed 'I passed!' Then, to my surprise, I cried for a good 10min (what a whimp huh? i must have been really scared).

Anyway, Michigan will be my next stop. But for now I need to start studying for Comp that's coming up quickly. All the paper work and doctor's visits are getting in the way though. But it is great to be home - my family, my Miho, awesome food, no sweating!, and my bed...

Can't believe I have to leave again soon...

7 days...... until FREEDOM.

2010-08-14T11:30:00.000-07:00

Quick update on my part...

Mini 3 is over - difficult exam, as usual I guess. I need to really put my game face on for Micro. Our final will be next Thursday with two exams spread out in the morning and the afternoon. How exciting is that... 2 exams in one day! Gives us a taste of what the Step is going to feel like. You won't be hearing from me for the next few days as I study my behind off for my final. Wish me luck! And I will re-surface after I finish my second year of medical school :)

All the best to everyone! Remember - have faith and believe in yourself because you CAN!!

Hello, Pseudomonas! Or should I say Staph...

2010-08-06T11:16:00.001-07:00

So... I have a case of otitis externa! Exciting yet not really. Started to worsen yesterday and the alarm went off in my head. I dragged by lazy butt to the school clinic today and got some ear drops with antibiotics. Very interesting experience - I don't even remember the last time I had an ear infection. It probably was when I was super young. I can barely hear from my right ear right now - feels so strange. When this started last night I took the tuning fork and did a Weber and Rinne test on myself hahaha it was grand! I feel like everything I learned about the hearing test was just so clear all of a sudden! Love it when light bulbs go off when I am suffering...

ICM practicals finished this morning and the grades came out. I did very well, just as the entire class did. Our average was 86%. The faculties say that every 4th semester ICM practical is usually a grade booster - thank goodness!!! I really needed it. Back to hardcore studying!! Two more weeks till I am home :)

What the Fuch's going on?

2010-08-03T19:22:00.000-07:00

Just sitting here reviewing Path right now.. reading about Fuch's dystrophy in the cornea. The thunder is loud outside. I am still not used to it, shuddering a little every time it roars. But my good friend Kathy kept me company on Skype, her being all the way across the water in Australia. I miss my friends back home. But I guess we are all on our way going somewhere doing something. The strongest bond in our hearts is what keeps us together.

Yesterday I had my ICM practical in the AM. Bright and early at 0800hr. It was not as scary as I thought it was gonna be. However, that was only my feeling... and often feelings could be off. So we shall wait for the grades. Meanwhile, I have started packing up some of my stuff and organizing things that I am and am not taking. I can somewhat feel the "I am going back to civilization!!" excitement now.. although faint due to the upcoming exams.

Anyway back to ICM practical. We had 4 rooms and I got 1 scenario (where patient has a complaint) and 3 task rooms. It was kinda fun actually - almost like playing a game, a mind game. Yes, those evil mind games... I misdiagnosed my Harvey (oops) but everything else went smoothly in the CVS exam. I feel that the secondaries went well too. Hopefully I made decent grades in that room!

Alright, Skyping my lovely mother right now and Miho. Good night everyone! Tomorrow will be a good day :)

Giggity giggty goo!

2010-07-28T19:04:00.001-07:00

Thanks to all the friends who expressed concerns about me lately - well, I am alright :) It is just cabin fever and a huge burn-out I think. The end of the semester is near and I can do this. I just need to push myself for the last little bit.

It's been crazy here with the weather. The rain is so unpredictable - it can just drop on you even with the hot sun sizzling above your head. I don't have an umbrella because mine broke a month ago. I figured I will just leave it like that - most of the time I am indoors anyway. Didn't want to buy another umbrella here - one less thing to pack. So far I only got rained on once (half-soaked).

Pathology lectures and Pharm lectures are getting really intense. All the renal lectures, skin lectures, musculoskeletal and neuro lectures came one after another. High yield high yield high yield - everyone's brain is burning up. Repetition is key - but it's gotta be smart repetition. It is difficult to keep up with the lectures some days but I make sure I am not far behind.

I chatted with someone in first semester today - and I felt so jaded haha, He was still excited about everything here even though he was also tired of studying. I am just looking forward to having this term over with and having a good night's sleep. It is hard to buffer all this stress - a friend of mine had diarrhea for an entire week (not cuz of food this time - we ruled that out) not too long ago. My body mostly responds to stress by not letting me sleep well at night, like last night - I kept waking up every couple of hours.

:) But don't give up (wherever you are, whatever you do) - it hurts now and this may blur the outline of your goal. Just keep on moving and you'll see everything clear up again (if not, get new glasses with better correction).

ps. The title is a quote from the FAMILY GUY!! (it maintains my psychological well-being in time of stress)

It's a way of life.

2010-07-24T11:14:00.000-07:00

I stopped by a local family restaurant to grab a bite yesterday, still bothered and frustrated by what has been going on lately in my life (some messy stuff not worth mentioning). There was a Dominican man working there with his wife. He had dreadlocks that brought me back to the high school era... Anyway, the TV was on at the simple little restaurant and Buffalo Soldier was playing in the background. I have always loved Bob Marley and really all Reggae artists. Not even noticing it, I started tapping on the table to the bubbly reggae beats. The man suddenly spoke, 'That's right, Mon!' I smiled and said, 'I love Bob Marley! His music relaxes me.' My friend sitting next to me said, 'I don't get him. And I don't get this kind of music.' This comment pulled a crooked smile out of the man and he said to us, 'Reggae, is a way of life.' For some reason, that sentence just stuck in my head. A way of life, that is, a lot of things we do or commit to doing - like Medicine. Although I wish it was as easy as listening to Reggae hahaha... oh man...

Hurricane season has arrived and the tropical thunders are hanging around. I still get frightened by those loud roars. They make me miss home, among other things. There is also a Dengue outbreak in the Caribbeans. One of our professors caught Dengue fever and has been out of commission for at least 1wk. Poor guy. I heard he lost 10lb already - and he wasn't heavy to begin with! I hope he gets better soon.

28 days till I fly home. But I am getting increasingly nervous about the upcoming exams. It is very weird - as I progress through the semesters I feel less and less ready, less and less competent. And the material has just been accumulating with no break. Is this just a burnout phenomenon? Gosh, I wish there was an antidote - 'cause coffee certainly stopped working, AGAIN!

Back to studying...

Light? Darkness?

2010-07-16T17:26:00.000-07:00

Quick update before I hit the books again...

Our 4th semester banquet is tomorrow at 5pm. Me and my 3 musician friends are going to practice one last time before we head over to Fort Shirley (location of banquet) to set up. I am kinda excited but kinda not - due to the HUGE amount of material to learn for this mini AND ICM practical coming up. Sigh... I almost wanted to skip out on the banquet. But decided against it... this probably will be the last time that all (most) of my classmates are together, until graduation anyway.

Also, I am still waiting on a few apartments in Michigan to respond back to my questions...

Back to studying!

43 Days till temporary freedom... WORTH waiting for!

2010-07-08T20:38:00.000-07:00

Getting closer and closer to the end of 4th semester... yet I am getting more and more nervous. The exams keep getting tougher and the information load keeps getting bigger. I pray that I will successfully make it through my second year and move on to my next step!

I finally started drinking 'milk' here after being deprived and becoming lactose intolerant for a significant amount of time. The milk here doesn't taste like milk though. Ok, the one I have in the picture is probably the closest tasting to real milk from back home. But still not the same. I just miss milk so badly...

Something exciting to share with everyone - our 4th semester banquet is coming up. I do believe it is happening next Saturday, which is 9 days from now. I know.. it is a little strange that it is happening in the middle of the term instead of the end. But now is probably the best time. Many people are leaving the island on the day of the final. I, myself, booked for the day after the final to fly home! So.. no time to party then! It will be nice to see everyone all together. I can't wait.

The MORE exciting thing is that 3 friends and I will be performing at the banquet. I hope it goes well. I am so stoked! We have 2 singers (I am one of them), 1 on keyboard, and 1 guitarist. And ALL OF THEM are absolutely AMAZING! We are going to do the song There You'll Be by Faith Hill - if you don't know this song, listen to it! It will get your emotions going... We felt that there really isn't another song that is more appropriate for this occasion - read the lyrics, they were written for us it seems!

Ok I gotta get back to studying. Will update soon!
ps. Our dogs are growing fast!

One quick update.......

2010-07-02T18:46:00.000-07:00

I am going to MICHIGAN for 5th semester! We received the confirmation emails today and I got accepted :) Not a huge accomplishment but I am excited nevertheless. Now I just have to focus on passing this semester!!

The rest of updates will come after the Mini, which is on Monday. Wish me luck!

Hospital #2

2010-06-24T16:09:00.000-07:00

I had my second hospital rotation today at PMH - it was AMAZING! What made my experience so much better this time than last was that today I did not have to sweat at all - our physician had air-conditioning in his office (I was so thankful). Anyway, besides that... today was really eventful and let me tell you why.

In the morning I rotated in Internal Medicine again. When I heard my assignment at first I was very bummed out - I already had Internal Medicine last time. And I was frustrated because I requested for Surgery at the beginning of the term but did not get any. But there are classmates of mine who got Surgery twice in a row! Anyway, I shook the hand of my doctor with the frustration simmering in the back of my mind.

However, he changed my negative thinking into positive energy with only the first patient! He let my two partners and I conduct the interviews and physical exams on the patients, only interrupting here and there to steer us in the right direction. He quizzed us and stimulated us to think, to pull together the big picture and come up with many differentials! I finally feel like I am in Medicine! The cases were very interesting as well. First patient had a mechanical aortic valve and I got to listen to the irregular heartbeats as well as a SYSTOLIC (not diastolic) murmur! It was amazing! The second patient had a congenital VSD and he was 24! His murmur was pansystolic and you could not make out his S1, S2 heart sounds at all. He also had a Grade 6 murmur in his Tricuspid area from the VSD - ie, the murmur was audible even with the stethoscope a few millimeters off of his chest!!! These are real heart sounds in real people and they sound so much better than those we hear in Harvey! Our third patient had Familial Spastic Paraplegia and he had extreme difficulty walking. But he was independent, upbeat, and helpful to the medical students. I think he has done this many times because at one point when we were pondering one question our doctor asked us, the patient gave us a hint on what the answer was! It was hilarious. I think he could probably write my exam for me and get a better grade...

Anyway, the bus ride back home was rough - our driver did not bother to avoid any potholes and I was in midair half of the time. Now I feel nauseated but made myself sit down and write about my experience before this flame fades tonite. I had a great day and hope everyone else did too :) Don't forget to give thanks!

Update!! And 57 more days...

2010-06-22T19:32:00.000-07:00

Just a brief summary of what happened today. I sent out my application for 5th semester site selection. I applied for Michigan. And school tells us that we'll find out whether we get what we want on Jun 6th, which really means June 13th or later. But better late than never! :)

Back to studying...

Sick again... in this humid weather!

2010-06-19T06:37:00.001-07:00

I woke up in the middle of the night sweating, so I turned on the air-conditioning. In the morning I woke up with terrible pharyngitis (sore throat)! Ugh... this is when I am not a fan of humid tropics. Temperature balance is hard to find...

On the other hand, school has been stressful. This semester is packed with information and higher expectations. Integrate, integrate, integrate. My brain is burning and so is my body! 4 consecutive semesters of med school without a good summer break really is tough (now I truly understand the meaning of a summer break)... and want one badly. My mind is screaming for a vacation that probably won't come till a year later. I am trying to stay motivated, stay balanced, stay rested - all of which are floating somewhere in the thin air.

We have a lot of Pathology for this Mini and my mind is messy. Microbiology is also filled with fungi and viruses. AHHH I am tired................................ I will dream about sleeping and doing nothing but resting...

One Gram Stain a day... keep the mystery away?

2010-06-13T20:14:00.001-07:00

Histoplasmosis is fungal disease caused by Histoplasma capsulatum. Lungs are frequently affected, leading to acute pulmonary histoplasmosis. In human body at 37C, the organism is in yeast form. It is transmitted by inhalation of spores from soil. It looks like a pocketful of jewel inside the macrophage in the picture. Initially macrophages get infected and act as vehicles that takes the fungus around the body via blood, thereby spreading the infection. Cell-mediated immunity will eventually kick in and eradicate the organism, if the host immune system is well-maintained.

No puppy photos today... Good night!

You are my sunshine :)

2010-06-10T19:44:00.001-07:00

The days have been rolling along nicely. Ever since the new additions to the house (the lovely puppies), my days have been brighter and better organized! Ironic, isn't it? Some may say that it is absolutely impossible to have puppies while in med school. But so far it has only affected me positively! A few friends of mine are also great examples (they have dogs as well). The best thing about the puppies is the love you can give them and the love they smother you with! While here in med school, the underlying stress I experience is relieved by the lovely little ones. The picture on the left is of Sera and the puppies.

Mini 1 happened on Monday and the Beach Bash was in the evening. It was nice to see all my classmates, who had all become hermit crabs during the exam week. It was rough. 4th semester is challenging due to its goal of information integration. Yes, think like a doctor... and you must... I still find the material interesting and thus will keep the motivation flowing. ICM this semester is also full of suprises and challenges. We have learned how to perform the rectal exam, male/female genitourinary exam, and the breast exam. These procedures depend a lot on the doctor in order to make the patient feel more comfortable in the most awkward situations. Certainly some of our fellow students do not feel comfortable themselves at all - one even asked 'Do I really have to do these exams?'... That left me speechless.

Soon we will receive the talks from each of the 3 sites: Dominica, Michigan, Miami - on what 5th semester is all about. Then we will be asked to pick our preference. Earlier there were a lot of students in my class who were going to Miami. But lately I have been hearing a lot more 'Michigan'. It'll be interesting to see who goes where. I think I'm going to try for Michigan. But I will keep everyone updated on the application process.

72 days till I am off the island :) Next step? To the States.

Viral? Bacterial? Canine?

2010-05-28T16:30:00.000-07:00

School has been pretty even-grounded but the information flow does not stop. This is the semester to really bust it and start integrating all the knowledge scattered around in my brain. Oh yes I am trying...

Here is some uplifting news - we have new additions to our little home here in Dominica. After the tragic incident I had been meaning to get my land lady Sera another pup for her to love and who will definitely love her back. Well they have arrived :) The picture is of the two of them. The brown one is named Daisy and the white one is named Pearl. They are sisters from the same litter. Sera has not stopped smiling since. And that puts my heart at peace. Love heals all wounds, not time.

In the mean time, I am trying to stay on top of my classes. This semester I am tutoring with my friend Phil. We are doing all subjects for 3rd semester students. I really enjoy it and that's why I decided to keep tutoring during my last semester on the island. The courses keep getting harder but more interesting. I want to finish strong in the final months of my second year. Let's keep on trucking!

Smile at someone today :)

Life goes on.

2010-05-23T20:01:00.001-07:00

Things are finally starting to return to normal again. Sera is feeling better and I am having flashbacks less often about what happened to Dixie. Now I can actually sit down with a clear mind and update you guys on my exciting experiences last week.

First thing we had was the Simman session. Like I mentioned before, Simman is a simulation model of real-life patient. He has pulses, heart beats, and lung sounds. He can talk, moan, vomit (sound effect), and cough. We can measure his pulse, EKG, temperature, respiratory rate, and blood pressure and read the results from a monitor. The facilitator that was leading our session controlled what symptoms the patient would present all through a small touch-screen computer according to the specific disease assigned to our group. It was a 1hr session, but it went by fast. No one in our group had any ER experience so it was a bit of a gong show at the start. But we quickly organized ourselves better. Under the guidance of the facilitator and the direction of a group leader, we bounced questions and differentials off one another. It was great. I almost felt like a doctor (I would have REALLY felt like one if I knew what I was doing)! I heard crackles in the lower lobe of the right lung (pulmonary interstitial edema) - got me so excited! Anyhow, with some help we diagnosed our patient - H1N1. Unfortunately none of us in the group wore a mask... so we were all 'infected'. Definitely a good lesson - wear gloves AND a mask! Our facilitator said to us, 'Congratulations, your patient lives... but y'all now have H1N1.'

Then on Thursday I went to the Princess Margaret Hospital (3 ICM groups) for our first rotation as a 4th semester student. We took a bus to PMH, which took about 1hr, and received our assignments for the day. I requested surgery but did not get it - apparently too many students requested for it! But I was assigned to Internal Medicine, which was amazing as well! The wards at PMH were old school: a dozen or more beds packed tightly together, separated my a curtain. The hospital appeared slightly run down but nevertheless tidy with some new renovation projects going on. The offices were small but the desks were still full with patients' charts. The doctors here recorded everything by hand, a system that is rapidly replaced by computerized sorting/recording in N.Am. hospitals. Our Internist was amazingly knowledgeable AND extremely friendly (I was surprised...)! We saw about 9 patients in 2-3hr or so and they all had different signs and symptoms. The beautiful part was that I have learned about most of the cases presented! What a wonderful review (and reminder of how much harder I should study)! By noon, I was already pooped. But I still had 6 more hours to go.

In the afternoon, we were divided up into even smaller groups to do our patient interview and physical exams - this time, it was real :) Due to confidentiality I will only mention that our patient was 2wk post-op from an AP (abdominoperineal) resection. He had a colostomy bag attached to his lower left abdomen. Long story short, we finished at around 4 30pm, met with the surgeon (super friendly, once again), and discussed the case. I had such a great day but was completely drained - hungry, and tired.

The bus ride home was long but I didn't mind it too much. Got home, took a nap, and got back to studying. Lots to learn... and I am looking forward to it!

ps. Enjoy a recent picture of Miho. He is so handsome!

Really hating the forced goodbyes...

2010-05-21T04:15:00.000-07:00

This is when I miss civilization and justice. This is when I miss home. Yesterday I was at the hospital the entire day doing my first rotation in 4th semester. And I had an exhausting but great day, until I arrived home. As I was walking back from campus I saw a huge crowd outside of my house. And I thought something happened to my landlord Sera. Then I stopped... when I finally saw what had everyone's attention - our dog was lying in a ditch right outside the front gate, twitching as he saw me coming. He started blinking rapid and twitching some more. I wanted to go pet him but I could not - all these huge long gashing wounds all over his body stared at me like monsters in a horror movie. His skull was cracked open. You could see his pink flesh all over bleeding away. I bit hard on my lip and turned away to walk back into the house. On the balcony I saw Sera broken into pieces. Every drop of her tears hit hard on my heart and it was painful. This dog was her baby. As she lived alone by herself in this house at the age of 80, the dog was her only company. Us students who stay every semester - we are usually studying, barely home. Her and the dog are the only permanent residents here, and he kept her company.

From the bystanders and Sera herself I had the story of what happened - a local man walked by our house earlier in the afternoon and claimed that our dog bit him. He then left for a while and came back with a machete with the intention of killing the dog. And he did, using the machete and a big rock, right in front of Sera's eyes. Poor Sera. I wish there was more I could do. I wish I could turn back time and change this. Unfortunately that's impossible. Brutality like this makes me lose faith in this world and its people.

Anyhow, I am going to update everyone on the simulation session and the hospital visit I had this week, but maybe tomorrow - when my mind is less messy. Take care everyone.

Attacked...

2010-05-16T15:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was rough. I had been super tired for two days prior with some unknown cause. Then yesterday morning I woke up and was hit by extreme nausea. I stumbled to the bathroom and nothing came out. Exhausted and bothered, I went back to my room and sat down on the bed, hoping the nausea will ease. While slowly it seemed to be disappearing I suddenly get a crazy gurgling sensation in my abdomen... Uh-oh, I thought, this signifies disaster! And yes, a disaster it was. I swear that it felt like I lost 2L of pure water from my body. Later on around noon I started getting chills and within 30min I had a fever spike. Well, I definitely couldn't read any more lectures for the day (I had trouble steadying myself even), so I went home and lay in bed shaking in sweat. It was pleasant... not. First week of the semester and I caught a bug. Luck or no luck? You decide.

While I was resting with a fever, my lovely friend Andra came by with juice and water for me and she actually stayed to watch one episode of House. That was very nice of her. After she left, I tried to sleep but couldn't - all I could think about were the symptoms I had and time of onset, trying hard to diagnose myself. I was happy that I finally understood the definition of ACUTE onset. When my fever subsided a little I skyped my mom and got her all worried (oops). But today I felt much better. The only thing that was still bothering me a bit was the dizziness I felt. But my tube was not leaking in either direction (think about it...)! Time to catch up on studies. Two more days and I'll be doing my first Simman session. Four more days will be my first hospital visit. Will update then!

Have a good day and don't catch any bugs!

Day 2, once again!

2010-05-11T19:09:00.001-07:00

Not bad, first ICM session in 4th semester actually went really well today. Totally different from the ICM sessions I had in 3rd. This time the facilitator is quite awesome. He is so laid back and receptive to questions AND extremely knowledgeable. I am looking forward to this semester already (although I know I will regret saying this... or laugh at myself at least). Picture on the left is taken from Pagua Bay.

I emailed my students from last semester's tutoring - all of them made it to 3rd semester! I am so happy. Almost feel like a proud parent. I have tutored most of them since their 1st semester here at Ross.

Next week our hospital visits will commence. We have only two visits this semester to Princess Margaret Hospital (PMH) and I am quite excited about them. Two is better than none! I already know what my visits will be... Should I spoil it for y'all? I think I will! One of them will be Surgery and the other one will be OBGYN!! Hopefully I will get to see an actual surgery and a delivery. Ah, the anticipation...

For now, I will get back to studying... the almighty diuretics.

One more week of relaxation.

2010-05-04T08:44:00.000-07:00

The break has been treating me well. I have been indulging in endless sleep. It is wake up, and going right back to bed. My body automatically wakes at around 6 45am everyday. But at least I could go back to sleep without feeling guilty. And that, my friend, is what awesomeness feels like. The rainy days are starting to arrive. Somewhat refreshing as the heat dissipates. But I am not so used to walking around with an umbrella any more. Gotta get back into it again.

Many first semesters have arrived one after another. Today is their orientation day with a fantastic BBQ following immediately in the evening. Of course, expect me there (where the free food is). Time went by fast. It has already been a year and a few days since I started here at Ross. I have been chatting with some first semesters who were excited, nervous, unsure about what was going to happen. And that reminds me of my first days here - the beginning of an adventure. Like any adventure, I told them, you just need to have an open heart and be prepared to test your limits. Afterall, there is a reason why they are called adventures.

4th semester is just around the corner and half way through it we will get to decide which site we would like to apply for: Michigan, Miami, or Dominica. Like I have mentioned before, Miami is also the default - ie. if you did not get picked by your preferred site, you will be automatically admitted by the site in Miami. Many people, however, apply for Miami to begin with (like some of my friends who are into urban life and hot weather). Don't blame them. Some of them really miss their BMWs and giant flat screen TVs ;) I think I will be tutoring again. I debated about it for a couple of days but then figured that I'd probably be unhappy and empty if I opt out of it. And what is the purpose of all this studying here if I am unhappy? Question answered.

Before I head to the BBQ tonite I am going to sell some of my books again. Missing my family and friends in Vancouver but also loving Dominica :) Good luck to everyone in whatever you are trying to achieve! Just keep on moving!

I am going to 4th semester!

2010-04-26T11:29:00.000-07:00

Our grades were up today. And I made it. After all the crazy ups and downs I am going to do finish up the last little bit of second year of med school. Keep on trucking!

Yesterday 7 friends and I rented a van and drove around the island. It was the most fun I have and in a long time. We first made a stop at Batibou beach (see first pic). Dominica has many hidden beaches like this one. White sand, colorful fish, blue sky, corals, and the warm blue sea. Finally it feels like a vacation in the tropics. The island is a lovely place. Anyway, we played around in the water for a while. Then decided to explore the rocks (we had to do some climbing). It was exciting! Two of the guys were so brave they actually jumped into the water and ventured out to climb the second, smaller rock (see second picture). I wish I could tell everyone that this is what we do all the time.. Unfortunately, this is (at least for me) the first time to explore the island so thoroughly. I took in every slice of nature, every little creature hustling in the bushes, all the sounds coming around us. This must be what heaven looks like.

Anyhow, I only got 2 B's and 2 A's this semester. Hope they will still let me tutor. I am going to talk to the office and see what they say. Tutoring as become a part of me now that I feel empty if I don't do it! Such a strange but pleasant feeling. I will be here enjoying the island while missing Vancouver. But either way, it will be grand :) At the end of the day, do not forget to give thanks and reflect on what has pushed you forward one step closer to your goal.

Checkpoint 3!

2010-04-23T06:48:00.000-07:00

This picture precisely describes my emotions and mindset after the exam just 10hrs before the photo was taken. Andra and I were at Riverside Restaurant getting some dinner and enjoying the conversations on non-school-related things. It felt great. I finally pulled through another semester. Well, not just another one, but a harder one in my opinion. This was the new 'first semester' as we had a new batch of challenging subjects to tackle. And even though the last month had been rough, I picked myself up (with help from lovable friends and family) and ran the rest of my race. Relief, is what has been filling my head.

Most of my close friends, if not all, have left the island yesterday and today to go home either in US or Canada to visit. On one hand I really wish I bought a ticket to go home this break, on the other hand I knew I needed to relax and stay fresh by staying here in Dominica. This break is too short for me to go back home and recover from chronic exhaustion! Plus, we all know that traveling is stressful.

Alright, so a little summary of the 1st half of second year of med school. It is getting tougher as we get higher (well, no doubt). Pharmacology was a difficult subject for me, especially because Ross has a relatively more condensed curriculum than others. I pushed my brain to the max and squeezed out all its juice this semester. Definitely maxed it out trying to remember all these drugs and everything about them in such a short time. Microbiology was tough but not as bad. I feel that if I had just a bit more time I could have improved my grades by A LOT. But, don't we all feel that way? Hehe.

I want to thank my Dad for being there for me when I needed someone the most (of course my Mom too). Something he said, something that I just needed to hear then, got me through this tough time and helped me stand back up. When I was feeling down and frustrated about my Mini 3 grades with everything else going wrong around me, my Dad reminded me of the marathons. He reminded me of the times (yes, more than once) when I had seriously injured myself during training and even had to have a time-out so I could recover. He wanted me to remember how frustrating and discouraging those times were. But I took time off to heal. And eventually I did complete my race. I ran, with satisfactory personal time.

We can never predict what lies head or when we will fall. What is more important is to keep your head up and not down, keep looking forward and not back. What does not kill you makes you stronger, MUCH stronger. Hang in there - for whatever you are trying to achieve :)

Gym time, for me.

Always pick up where you leave off. And keep on walking!

2010-04-20T09:43:00.000-07:00

Last 12hrs of cramming/studying/increasing intracranial pressure. Well, I am finally back to myself even though the situation is not ideal haha... oh well, gotta be prepared for the unpredictable! Things happen but I can't let them bring me down. Two weeks of sadness is too much and I am putting an end to that :)

Studying with my friend Andra today. Wish we figured this out earlier cuz now things are coming together pretty good. We are coming up with mnemonics faster than the espresso maker cranking out strong coffee. Next semester we are just gonna do this and work together starting Day1 (now that we know we can totally beat this if we start early). Just wanna share a few mnemonics that we made up. PLEASE, if they are offensive in any way, keep in mind that they are just mnemonics to help us learn. Enjoy (all you fellow nerds)!

'GanDof plays laCross behind the Net.' (Ganciclovir, Cidofovir, Foscarnet are drugs to treat CMV-induced retinitis. They exhibit Cross-resistance.)

'Ami ODs her Cister with Platinum, not Aluminum.' (CisPlatin is an antineoplastic alkylating agent for bladder/ovarian ca. It is inactivated by Aluminum (needle material). It can cause nausea/vomiting and antidote is OnDansetron. It can also cause ototoxicity and nephrotoxicity due to free radicals, and antidote here is Amifostine.

'Low-pro-lide' (Leuprolide is a GnRH analog that inhibits LH/FSH production, and therefore reduce Prolactin, hence the Low-Pro. It is used in Prostate ca. This can cause testicular atrophy as a side effect.)

Ok I have to keep studying. Love you all and keep on smiling!

Gotta bounce back.

2010-04-16T16:49:00.000-07:00

Last couple of weeks had been hell, somewhere mixed in the chaos were my friend Adrian's death, some bad luck on the practical exams, and high levels of stress caused by Pharmacology and Pathology. Mini3 scores are out and this is by far my WORST exam. I am not going to share my grades, but I'll just say - this almost made a hypomanic person (like me) depressed. Thank God for such amazing family and friends who gave me encouragement and support through the rough times. No, I am not a quitter. And I will kick the final exams right in the arse!!

I was chatting with my Dad today and mentioned how I wished I was a Pharmacist or an EMT or something between my undergrad and Med school. But my friends who did those things told me that I was better off just heading straight into Med school, like I am now. Is this just another greener grass on the other side sorta thing? I am kinda envious of their situation because they are not struggling to learn the drug names and uses. They could use their actual experience to help them out on the exam to answer those amazingly ambiguous questions because they had been there, seen that. Sigh... no point in complaining. God brought me here at this time for a reason and I just have to keep going.

Just do my best.

It is going to be a long night...

2010-04-12T20:22:00.000-07:00

Only have time to say a few words here before diving back into studying again... We had our Pathology practical today. It wasn't too bad but still trickier than I expected. Hit or miss again.

Tomorrow we have a full day of studying and day after is the 3rd Mini. And let me tell you - it is TERRIFYING. I am trying the shove and pack all these drugs into my head (Pharmacology) and it feels like nothing is sticking. Hopefully this is just an unreliable feeling. Praying hard these days. Ok I will update soon after my exam with more interesting things hopefully.

My friend Adrian's memorial service was amazing - just thought I'd mention :)

In memories of a wonderful friend.

2010-04-08T12:07:00.000-07:00

Loss, is a difficult concept. It is a hidden monster in the back of your memory that causes chaos when you are the least prepared. The most vulnerable. No moment is a good moment to lose someone you love, someone you have embraced whole-heartedly. Recently we lost a friend, a beautiful mind, a soul radiating positive energy. Two more weeks till his 24th birthday. Two more weeks till he reaches yet another milestone and moves one step closer to his dream of serving others. This news came so suddenly that it tore a big chunk off our aching hearts as it penetrated the thick air on this campus, stirring up endless questions without answers. Why? You wonder. Why him? Why such a lovable spirit?

I will remember you. You have left a deep impression in my memories. You are the inspiration of me and many others who have been touched by your love, your smile, your encouraging words. Your dream will no longer be carried by yourself, as we are all in this together and your dream is our dream. Let us remember our dearest friend Adrian. Let us not forget the reason why we are here striving for what seems so difficult to reach. Let us carry on with Adrian watching over us, surrounded by beautiful angels.

Finally, just reach for the phone and call someone you love but unable to see right now. Do tell them, that they have stolen a piece of your heart.

We miss you, Adrian.

22 Days

2010-03-31T04:37:00.000-07:00

Here is me, representing the 'Canucks' during the football championship at Ross, singing Oh Canada! Second time around, but still super nervous! I guess that is why I am not doing performance arts for a career. Our girls won the game, but this time it was a tight one as the lower semester team was quite feisty! They were a bunch of small-framed girls but heck, I totally underestimated them. They did really well on the field, as did our girls.

So, I did my ICM exam on Monday and I was so bummed for the rest of the day. I picked out the JVP exam and I KNEW IT WELL. At least I thought I did. I had been practicing everyday for the week before for at least 2hr a day and I STILL forgot to describe the JVP waves to the examiner after the physical exam. Stupid me... I wish she gave me a hint like she did for some other students though. Even with a slight hint I could have given her a complete detailed description! Sigh, I still got nervous and that part just slipped my mind...

No breaks. Now is time to catch up in Pharm. The drugs are building up. Psychopharm is crazy (unintended pun)!!! I almost feel like I need to take some of these prescription drugs to keep myself grounded here. Today we have a Behavioural exam in which we will be performing an interview on a 'patient' to try to figure out the diagnosis by asking the right questions (hopefully). We will have 8min including the summary. I hope this one goes well...

And carry on.

Almost time for some heavy music!

2010-03-17T19:24:00.000-07:00

This is an amazing painting that I came across today on the internet. Just wanted to share it with everyone, and I guess in a way to express how much I miss my violin, piano, and purely making music with friends. But I don't have to wait too long now for a little taste of paradise! This Friday our school is having a culture/talent show and my friend Polina and I will be playing for sure! We are the second to perform, which is great. We have been thinking about doing a song together since we met, and finally we acted on it (after 2.5 semesters)!

Today was an exciting day. We had our Standardized Patient exam in the morning. Basically each student is assigned another as a partner, pair up, and perform a 45min interview + physical exam on a 'patient'. Those standardized patients are volunteers, most of whom are spouses of the fellow Ross students. They were given a scenario and would be acting out the symptoms for the students being tested. We had a gentleman who presented with severe chest pain. But my partner and I worked well as a team. We missed a couple of things during the physical but these were not on the marking scheme. Basically, we got a perfect score! :) I am quite surprised and pleased about that.

It is interesting how important it is to practice doing physical exams with ONE very essential factor in mind. And that is - as (future) physicians, our focus should be the PATIENT. You would be surprised how many students get in the zone of the exam and forget that simple yet critical fact! We all get nervous because we are being graded on what we do and it is easy to forget that patient comfort is the number one priority! But my partner and I did well in that regard and our 'patient' was happy with that despite the chest pain, hehe. I must remember that as I continue with my schooling.

Anyhow, I sat down for 6hr after my exam and finished the rough draft of my paper (yes we have to write up a paper on the patient interview/physical exam). Now I am just waiting for a little feedback from my genius friends and will be editing it tomorrow before submission. And I am so happy that I finally got to talk to my dad tonite. I miss him so much! My mom is in China right now visiting relatives so I can't really catch her till she is back. We are just connecting via email at the moment. I feel really loved and I am grateful for that. Life is good.

Hope everyone is carrying on well! Remember to do something nice for someone today, or tomorrow :) because it feels good.

Rain

2010-03-08T19:28:00.000-08:00

Our exam was over today. Thank goodness. Of course no one said it was going to be easy but no one said it was going to be this hard. HA! No, I saw it coming. There were some Pharm questions on the exam that required just straight up recall. It was either you remember it or you don't. That was the tough part. Path wasn't bad, but that was only because we have a professor who is an absolute sweetheart and she makes things so straightforward that there is really no guessing involved. Behavioural... let's just leave it at that.

It rained today and the air was fresh. The plants are happy and I could almost feel it. I went out tonite with some friends.. Normally I don't go out after Mini's but I felt the need to tonight. I have been studying so hard that I felt that my mind was gonna give. And some fun and relaxation were definitely called upon. Thank god for friends.

Tomorrow I have to wake up early and finish my PBL assignment and then get on with the day. I think we have a full day of class again. No breaks? A neverending journey huh... Just keep on trucking!

Dark dark days...

2010-03-05T11:55:00.000-08:00

Four days till the dreaded Mini 2. Sorry for the lack of update. I have been trying to buckle down and focus on studying. Pharmacology has an insanely amount of material for us to memorize even though it has the fewest questions on the exam and also worth the least!!!

Praying...

A short and sweet summary...

2010-02-22T19:18:00.000-08:00

It has been a struggle to wake up for the past 2 weeks in the morning. Apparently this is what a burn-out feels like and it will not get better from this point on (according to a 4th semester friend). Despite all this insanity, I have been making myself go to the gym at least twice a week. We'll see how long that is going to last. My body has been protesting against my long study days... BIG time, to the point where I couldn't ignore it anymore.

Our second Mini is in 12 days. Where did all the time go??? Really. I do not understand. Wish things would slow down a little so I could rest a bit. The second year of med school is so miserable, in all honesty, even though the content is amazingly interesting. Of course it is always 'so much to do and so little time x 1,000,000,000'. A very inspirational friend just got matched with her residency program recently! I am so proud and happy for her as I know EXACTLY how painful and difficult it is to get through all these years of torture. At the same time I am very envious and can't wait to be able to celebrate that wonderful moment myself. Must get through this...

On March 17 I will be singing at the school's talent show with a friend on the acoustic guitar. That will be a nice distraction from all the unhealthy study habits.

I miss Vancouver and wish I was home for the Olympic craze. 'Nuff said. Back to studying till my brain farts. G'night everyone!

ps. I put up Miho's picture because he just looks SO FUNNY in this photo... perhaps a little too serious??

Volcanic Eruption

2010-02-13T15:36:00.000-08:00

On Feb 11 I believe around midnight, a dome of a volcano collapsed in Montserrat. How did I know? The next morning when I woke up and opened the door, everything was hazy outside. For a second, I had to pause and take it all in, trying to decide what exactly was different that morning compared to before. I stepped off the porch and slowly walked to the gate, slipping on volcanic ash the entire way. Well of course at that time I had no idea that it was volcanic ash that I was stepping on. I thought there was a sand storm when I was asleep... wait now, where did Dominica get all this sand?? When I got to school and had a chat with the locals, they told me about the volcanic eruption in Montserrat. That entire day I was inhaling all that ash - school was giving out masks for the respiratory-sensitive, and many students picked up a mask for themselves. It was SARS-memoir all over again... I didn't bother. Instead, I just breathed normally outside, deeply. Then I coughed a bit. Ha, oh well.

Good news is that my Mini turned out well. Behaviour is a bit disappointing but not to the point of no return. I could work on it for the next exam and impress myself then. All the other hard subjects, namely Pharm, Path, and Micro turned out decent. Phew! My effort was not in vain, though I really need to learn to curb this pre-exam anxiety (that hit me this time... that was tough)! Alright, gotta get back to studying. Hope everyone is enjoying the Olympics! Wish I was home for the opening. All the best to the Olympians!

Yet another screaming wound...

2010-02-08T19:39:00.000-08:00

So... I wonder when these will stop? Guess never ever. And ever. Today's exam was difficult. Definitely a wake-up call on how much harder and more efficient I need to be in terms of studying. The Mini consisted of Pharm, Micro, Path, and Behavioural, with Behavioural being the toughest! Now, I was warned that Behavioural is going to require quite some effort, but I didn't expect the questions to be so heartbreaking on the exam. As I was reading through them, it felt like they were tearing my cornea into pieces, little by little... The exam was longer than usual as well, a total of 143 questions in 2hr and 45min. Here is a taste of only the crust of medicine. Yet it is intense.

Pharmacology was tricky with the calculations. I was never sure if I remembered the formulas correctly. Leading up to the exam I tried to do practice questions more than once. But there was so little time that I had to carefully plan out my study time so I could look at every lecture at least once. And once it was - for Behavioural and some Path lectures. Lesson learned: I need a new way of studying this semester. Forget the 'let's read a few chapters in the book to understand this better'. It is all about how to maximize your brain capacity for the shortest amount of time given - so you can pass and make it to the next semester. Initially I tried to set my goal as to learn to retain information for the long run. Well, it is not gonna work if I continue to be a Ross student. The amount of material we are being fed is so overwhelming that I think I might just have to master rote learning (which is difficult for me)...

However, I am thankful that Mom was there for me today when I needed to let out my sadness and frustration in how incompetent med school makes me feel. She is always great at steering me away from silly depressing thoughts. I spent the night with a close friend pigging out on Chinese food and watching Wolverine (a quite awesome movie, actually, with some amazing effects). Enough said, I think I am ready to be up on my feet again tomorrow and go at it full speed for the next exam!

You can push me over but you can't keep me down.

Burn baby burn!

2010-02-06T18:06:00.000-08:00

One day and a half left for studying. Maybe two days - if I don't sleep... yes I am considering it but my body will most certainly not approve. My brain feels like it will undergo self-combustion any time now. My eyes are tired and dry. My vision is blurry from too much reading in one setting. AHH! And I can't scream because my landlord is sleeping and my roommate is on the phone. If I didn't pursue medicine, I'd probably be running my marathons right now. The only stress I'd be experiencing would be the physical stress from logging those miles while exercising my heart! One can dream... right?

The electron micrograph on the left is of Schistosoma mansoni, a parasitic worm that can directly penetrate skin and cause what is called 'swimmer's itch'. It is also part of the reason why my brain is overloaded... Since I am wasting my time blogging, I am going to bore y'all with some of what I am trying to learn in the next 30hr. We had a lecture on parasitic worms and protozoans. Wish I took a class on Latin - that's all I can say...

Hermaphroditic flukes (Definitive host: mammals. 1st intermediate host: crabs. 2nd intermediate host: fish, crustaceans, aquatic plants/vegetables)
Paragonimus westermanii - in crab meat, infects the lungs, eggs found in sputum
Clonorchis sinenesis - in fish, infects the liver and bile duct, eggs found in feces
Fasciola hepatica - in aquatic plants, infects the liver
Fasciolopsis buski - in aquatic plants, infects the GI tract, eggs found in feces
Heterophyes heterophyes - found in fish, infects the GI tract

Schistosomes (aka. blood flukes, distinguished by presence/shape of spines on their eggs. Definitive host: mammals. Intermediate host: snails) Schistosoma mansoni - in contaminated water, intestinal - blood smear ID
Schistosoma japonicum - in contaminated water, intestinal - ID eggs in feces
Schistosoma hematobium - in contaminated water, urinary - ID eggs in urine
All the above listed are Trematodes (aka. flukes) and now all the species below are Cestodes (aka. tapeworms). Yes, those cute looking creatures... (staining photograph on the right is of Paragonimus westermanii).

Diphylobothrium latum - fish tapeworm
Taenia saginata - beef tapeworm
Taenia solium - pork tapeworm
Note: For Taenia spp. ID eggs and proglottids in feces. If ingest contaminated meat, intestinal disease develops. If ingest eggs (of T. solium only), will develop tissue disease -> Cysticercosis

There are still 3 more pages to go... but I think you are all falling asleep just like me. Good night!

Sick....

2010-02-03T11:26:00.001-08:00

It finally hit me... I am currently lying in bed with a fever and it's hot, inside my body and outside my house. Sigh! I have been feeling somewhat under the weather for the past week or so. And when I ended up sitting next to a non-stop 'cougher' 3 days in a row in the small computer room without windows, I had a bad feeling coming on. Well, here it is. I am sick. My Mini is in 4 days and I already don't have enough time to study all that I have been taught. Right now my body and my mind are both struggling. I have been lying in bed for the past 4hr. I couldn't even watch the lectures today because my head feels dizzy and I feel as if I am walking on air. I will try to review at least today's material this evening then I am just gonna call it a day and get some rest. This week has been real rough and I think the stress and insufficient sleep were partly to blame as well. Darn it. As I watched one student after another getting sick 2 weeks ago I had been praying that it wouldn't happen to me...

I made myself some tea with ginger and just hope that this fever will settle. Back to resting...

Relax?

2010-01-30T11:49:00.000-08:00

This is Dixie (even though a boy) in the picture, my landlord and my favourite. He is a great dog and the best company any human can ask for. Sometimes he gets overly excited but hey, that's better than not being excited at all to see you.

Ok, school is really tough right now and I am not going to pretend it is not. Pharmacology is frustrating me beyond belief. All the drug names, the receptors/pathways, adverse effects and contraindications... I must get through this... the next week I am gonna be MIA because I need to put my game face on to prepare for our first Mini, which is in 8 days. Will update soon after! Love to all and enjoy the winter Olympics in VANCOUVER!!!!!!

'What do you think you know about me?'

2010-01-23T15:24:00.000-08:00

A friend and I went to lunch together. While eating, we chatted even though we both knew about the rule of no talking with your mouth full. I mentioned that I liked her personality and her outlook on life. She took the compliment and thanked me, then quickly asked me, 'So, what do you think you know about me?' Now, she said that in the most non-hostile way, trust me. But that question triggered an endless discussion between us. We make friends and form bonds. Yet some stay and some don't. I have seen friends who turned on one another - well, now you may argue that these may not be true friends after all. Carefully, I listed a bunch of things I thought I knew about her. Guess what? I was right about a big portion of them! It is true that we do not know most of our friends well enough and people change as well. But I do think that personalities shine through most of the time. One can try and hide their true colour and act as someone else. But that sure won't last long. Of course, never judge too early but you can always start evaluating as soon as you feel like!

It is Saturday night and I am sitting in the big lecture hall with other students, studying or trying to study (I guess that is my case right now). I finally talked to my parents on Skype after a whole week of no talking and that makes so happy. My family is part of me. My mom also put Miho on camera. Oh that silly kitty! Always an attention-seeker. One more day of studying and a full week of class again. Our weeks are filled with about 8hr of lectures every single day. Kinda crazy if you ask me.

My tutoring session starts tomorrow. I am so excited! I need to remember to prepare for the session. Can't wait to see my students - they all made it to second semester! I am so proud of them. If you put in effort, you will get something in return. That never fails. On the coming Monday, I will be going to my first ICM lab to learn to perform a general survey on a patient. Can't wait! I am pretty excited about that.

I found the comic strip online and thought it somewhat relates to the 'how well do you know a person' talk I had with my friend. Just wanna share with ya! Good night!

My first interview at Ross

2010-01-19T02:45:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was such an exciting day, yet super packed for the most part. Our class was split up into 3 groups in the morning and each group was assigned to a different task - community clinics, ICM, or special interviews. Our group was part of the clinics, so we were shipped off to a village called Coulibistri to learn how to do patient interviews. The ride was not too bad as it only took about 25min. A strong feeling of sympathy grew inside me as soon as our bus turned the corner and started heading up a narrow dirt road pinched between small brick houses packed one against another. The area was definitely underdeveloped and some walls had holes in them. Our bus driver stopped in front of a small green house with chipped paint and told us that was our destination.

I walked inside with my team and saw 2 patients sitting in the waiting area. We greeted them and found out that they were the patients who were going to participate in our interviews today. Those 2 ladies were very sweet and welcoming, which made me feel at ease. By then the feeling of nervousness had almost disappeared completely. We met the nurse - a very gentle, caring Dominican lady. She introduced us to the patients and told us a bit about the village we are in. There were only about 600 residents in Coulibistri and one clinic (where we were at). The clinic was staffed 3 days a week with a nurse and doctor comes to the clinic twice a month. They did check ups and simple deliveries for pregnant mothers. The clinic, however, was underequipped - if there were birth complications, the patients had to goto another hospital not too far of a drive from the village. I took in the entire place as we had a little tour. The clinic was small and simple with only 3 small rooms plus one waiting area. Only the main 'delivery' room had a stretcher plus a small incubator-like container with small blankets in it. Other rooms mainly just had a few desks and chairs. Yet, I must say, although underequipped, the clinic was tidy and welcoming.

Anyhow, we divided up the group and went to different rooms for the interview. I was in a group of 3. Our patient was a middle-aged Dominican lady who couldn't really understand or speak a lot of English. Her mother tongue was Patois and she could freely communicate with the nurse (who sat in on our interview) without a problem. Even though it was a challenge getting information from her due to the language barrier, our team managed to finish the interview with plenty of data with a little of help from the nurse here and there. However, I must say that the patient made it easy for us because she was very cooperative despite the language barrier and tried to tell us as much as she could.

When we finished and got back to campus, we had a wrap-up session with a team leader - for us it was a Ross graduate who is waiting for his residency in ER medicine. He was an inspiration for me, most definitely. The wrap-up was great. It was a new way of approaching patient's conditions and made me feel like I had a LOT more to learn. Yet it was fascinating how our team leader could just put all these things together and come up with a differential. I can't wait to see myself do that! Anyhow, our session ran late and I had 15mins to grab a bite before the afternoon Behavioural Lab - a banana is always a good choice in those times.

The afternoon lab was also an interview session, but this one was slightly different from the one in the morning. We had our session in the ICM labs. There were 6 of us plus a facilitator, who happened to be another Ross graduate. Only one of us would be interviewing and the rest would observe and give feedback. I volunteered to go first (and I was a bit nervous at the beginning) and interviewed my patient in front of the entire group. The patient was a very nice lady and she was very kind and cooperative, once again! I almost drew a blank near the beginning of the interview because her case threw a curve ball at me - it wasn't the 'typical' example like the one we learned in class. So I couldn't exactly apply the format we were taught to do the interview. Anyhow I just went on to ask other questions, hoping that everything would come together and that what I was doing was at least close to the correct thing.

When I finished the interview, I was ultra nervous about what kind of feedback I was going to get from the facilitator. And surprisingly, he told us that I did 'a really great interview'! But of course there were things that I shouldn't have done or missed - I definitely took notes on those :) Oh, did I mention that we had to dress up the entire day for those interviews? I was not very comfortable in formal clothing! Definitely missed my T-shirt, shorts, and flipflops...

Alright, I need to get back to studying. Haven't had time to upload any pictures yet. Next time! Hope everyone is having a good day/night at the moment.

Breathe

2010-01-12T15:46:00.000-08:00

Second day of school and I am liking what I am learning. Truthfully, despite all the 'fear factors' passed around among the student body about the 3rd semester, I am super excited about what this semester holds. Maybe I will be laughing at myself for saying this later on in the semester, but right now that is precisely what is on my mind. Not a single bit of fear, just pure anticipation! We have 4 subjects: Microbiology/Immunology, Behavioural Science, Pathology, and Pharmacology. Don't be fooled (as we are told by the upperclassmen)! Even though we only have 4 subjects, the load is as heavy as last semester. Not to mention the content is completely new! 'It is like learning a new language', one of our professors said about Pathology. And it is true. This challenge is making me excited! Besides these subjects, we are also starting ICM or Introductory Clinical Medicine, where we will begin to learn how to properly interview patients regarding their illnesses. Finally, I am touching fingertips with real medicine :) This entire patient interview deal brings back memories for me of the years I spent working beside the wonderful cancer patients. And I miss them. I miss that sort of interaction. Sometimes, I wish (very naive..) that I could keep in touch with every single person I have met and liked since the day I could process my own thoughts. Obviously impossible... but one can certainly dream!

Also this semester my biggest goal outside the academia is to live a balanced life. Hurting my back severely during this winter break has evoked something in me, and that special something is the motivation behind my goal. I have been attending yoga classes twice a week since I got here. Even though the starting goal is to help my back recover, I know I will try my best to stick to this routine because it is making me feel refreshed and pumped for the load I am getting.

This semester I will be TA-ing again for Neuroscience and Biochemistry. But I think for Biochemistry I may become an appointment-only TA. So instead of having a session every weekend, I hold tutor sessions for those in need and those that contact me to schedule a meeting. That way I will have more flexibility overall. Hm, so much to anticipate for!

Ok... I should get back to studying. Already spent 2.5hrs doing yoga and cleaning up. Ready to dive back into the game again. And tomorrow will be a GOOD day!

Back to Sunshine

2010-01-07T11:04:00.000-08:00

I finally landed in Dominica after 36 hrs of (mostly) sitting in boxes on wheels or giant flying machines. One thing I can firmly say is that I did not enjoy any minute of it. Traveling is a pain in the butt until you actually reach your destination. Interestingly, I feel at home here on the island. When I was in Vancouver I wanted to come back to the sunny weather. And here I am, closing my eyes and enjoying the heat evaporating the moisture on my skin. Ah... a hot winter - that's how I like it.

Ross changed its printing system and I like it more than the old one. Now we can print from any of the classrooms or the library. This way it's less messy, less crowded, and more efficient. No more 'where are my print-outs??'. The new students have arrived. I wonder how big this new class is. Probably close to the size of the previous class. I am also really anticipating the arrival of my friends! Already ran into a couple of them here. But most are coming on the last day of the week or first day of class.

So far I haven't yet finished unpacking. Last night I passed out midway on my bed in my dirty clothes. Woke up and found out that I had slept for 12hrs. I guess 36hrs of no sleep really gets to you. When I got home, our dog Dixie was so excited to see me. I was happy to see my landlord again too. I thought about her lots during my break, hoping she was alright on her own.

3 days till school starts. I hope my back recovers completely before then so I can sit for hours again... so sad ;) Anyhow, gonna go for a walk now! Ciao everyone!

ps. Miho is not ready for the new year! (see photo)

L.O.V.E.

2010-01-01T16:24:00.000-08:00

Have been home for 11 days. My break between semesters is almost over but the time spent with friends and family will always be the most precious. Last nite I went to a NYE house party with my closest friends, with whom I was hoping to spend the night with. I missed them. I missed the heart-to-heart conversations, the neverending sarcasm, the playful insults, and the arms waiting to be linked to my own. 2009 went by fast. And time will just go by faster from now on. However, I feel that I am better at catching the fleeting moments escaping between our fingers. Those are the best kinds. Most of my friends are leaving for another country this new year, and I know for a fact that we will not be able to see each other nearly as often as we did or we do. While that thought pulls out a helpless sigh from me, something also tells me that we will only become more connected. The world is not as big as it appears to be.

Anyhow, Vancouver has been cold... yet it appears to be slightly above zero most of the time. This Xmas we did not get any snow! Hm. Occasionally I catch myself missing the hot sun in Dominica. I guess I will see the island again in 5 days! Unless the US airports pull tricks on us again. The airlines have changed regulations and the security checks have become more detailed and time consuming. They are putting more limits on the number of luggages each passenger can carry. Sigh, why has it become like this?

My kitty Miho is so handsome and I missed him so much! Being home allows me to snuggle with him again ooooh so cozy! I hope the 2010 is going to be a great year filled with happiness and achievements for everyone :)

Back from hell...

2009-12-18T08:54:00.000-08:00

Sorry for disappearing for two entire weeks! I had just survived the hell week yesterday. Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday we had our cumulative finals in all 6 subjects. Let me tell you... it was outrageously challenging both physically and mentally.

The first exam was on Tuesday and included Histology and Physiology. I actually did not study for Histology AT ALL going into the final, hoping that I really did know Histo as well as I thought I did. Fortunately they were easy on us in the Histo section of the exam. For Physiology I only reviewed Cardiac Phys from last semester and banked on my memory for the rest of Physio. The only reason why I could do that was because I went into the final with pretty good grades in Physio. Our professor who taught most of our Physiology this semester was a really great teacher. He definitely knew his subject inside out, was very receptive to our questions and gave clear explanations. Sadly he is leaving Ross after this semester. I talked to him briefly yesterday as he was rushing to get some things sorted out before his departure. He said he actually liked the island and he had mixed feelings about going back home. Next semester he will come back here for one week to just teach reproductive physiology. My thoughts? It is rare to have professors like that these days - wants to teach, likes to teach, enjoys life, and approachable.

So 8am on Tuesday I sat for Histo/Physio cumulative. Finished the exam relatively early but EXTREMELY tired and hungry afterwards. 160 questions in total - longest exam so far in Ross. Good thing I ate right before the exam so at least I didn't get hunger pangs like some of my friends. That would be an awful feeling especially during an exam. When I finished the exam I went home and ate lunch, not having time to actually take a satisfying break due to the next exam at 1pm the next day. That was a slightly terrifying exam because it was Anatomy. Interestingly Anatomy was not all this scary before but this semester the questions seemed to be more difficult than they were for previous semesters and a lot of students are struggling to stay above the MPS for it. I made sure I slept for 5 hrs the night before and did some final reviewing. The exam itself was alright, with some challenging questions here and there. But Neuro was harder for me than Anat because I didn't allot a lot of time studying for Neuro. Again that was because I went into the final with decent grades. Hoping for the best!

The last exam included Biochemistry and DPS, the most dreaded combo for the entire class! I had about 16hrs between the the second final and this one and I was completely exhausted after the Anat/Neuro final. Even though I tried to study for Biochem my mind just couldn't function efficiently. Fortunately I started reviewing for Biochem and DPS long ago. I decided to goto bed early but was way too excited about finishing the exam that I couldn't fall asleep!! Haha... oh dear. Anyhow, I woke up at 4am after some sleep to do some final studying. I was really calm going into the exam, maybe mostly numb and tired. But the exam was alright. Now I can relax and wait for the grades.

More importantly, I am going home on Sunday :) Can't wait for some family/friends time and SNOW! Hello, Vancouver - ready or not, here I come!

Crunch time x 1000

2009-12-04T05:56:00.000-08:00

Just wanna briefly update everyone while I wait for my Anatomy practical exam to start at 1pm today. This is the 4th and the last practical exam for this semester. I never thought I'd say this, but... HOORAY for the last Anatomy lab ever (unless I TA Anatomy next semester)! This week just flew by so fast with one exam per day. I am so numb to it all by now and that is good - I am at least relaxed. You know the feeling of being too tired to feel the stress? That's where I am at...

Anyhow, I gotta get back to studying. After this exam I am planning to actually head to the gym and do some cardio workout. If I don't go today, I know I won't be going for the rest of the semester. Hell week begins this weekend...

A question for your curious minds: Is herbal medicine real medicine?

One step at a time...

2009-11-28T18:51:00.000-08:00

This week has been a terrifying week and so will the next few weeks. I would love to say the opposite but I have to admit that I am terrified by what's to come. Next week we have exams on Tues, Wed, Thurs, and Fri - that covers all our practicals. Then we have 3 days before our Mini 3, which is on the following Tuesday. Then one week after that we have our cumulative finals on Tue, Wed, and Thurs - these will cover all our materials since the first day of semester one. In total, that is 8 exams in just around 2 weeks. For once I am actually somewhat discouraged and feeling inadequate in every single way. I am tired and I just want to sleep all day. I have bags under my eyes and I am not taking care of myself like I used to back home. I don't want to have to think about studying even in my dreams. I want to goto movies, goto the beach, and hang out with my friends. I want to see my parents and play with my cat. I want to get back to training for marathons and be my active self. I want to be stress-free and happy. Medical school is hell times 10 and the sacrifices you have to make are endless. I want to give up. Yet, I am fully aware that there is no way I will be happy with my life if I don't pursue medicine. I hate that I am fascinated by medicine. Oh boy... back to studying!

Football

2009-11-21T16:16:00.000-08:00

Our school's football teams had their finals today. The women's team - Powder Puff - totally rocked the game. It was so intense that even someone who doesn't know anything about football (such as me) found it empowering and fascinating. I am considering playing some kind of team sport next semester. But if anything, it will probably be soccer and not football. All in all, I still think football is a bit too violent for me, and slightly terrifying. Some girls are serious about the game and quite competitive. However, it was great. The girls from our semester totally dominated the game - the final score was 26:6.

The interesting part of the day is before the game, however. I sang the Canadian anthem for the teams. Strange, I know - because I never like singing in front of big crowds. It makes me nervous. And it did today as well! But I had to represent Canada because we are the minority here and our club president could not find anyone else to sing the anthem. So it was me... Fortunately it went smoothly. But I was so nervous that I almost forgot to breathe! Thank goodness the Canadian anthem is short, unlike the American one. The girl before me sang the American anthem and she had a beautiful voice - hence why I was nervous! But a lot of my friends came to encourage me and that was very heartwarming :) I feel so lucky.

And now it's back to studying. 30 days till I go home and get cozy with family and friends in cold, rainy, yet familiar Vancouver.

The stars are always bright no matter what!

2009-11-17T13:22:00.000-08:00

There was a meteor shower last night, or perhaps I should say early this morning at around 4:00am. But I was told that it was going to happen at 1:00am - so I studied till 2am but saw nothing. Then my body just made me goto bed instead. Anyhow, it's been a while since I wrote here! School has been keeping me nice and busy, more or less. However, last Saturday I did have a really great experience to share with y'all.

The Neuroscience Club had their regular health clinic in Rosseau. Since I didn't sign up for it last semester due to fear of not having enough time to study, I made sure (with the 'convincing' of my friends) that I sign up for this one. I just needed to do something else other than studying. Basically all the volunteers who signed up for this clinic were going to help out at the free health fair for the locals. The bus ride was rough - it took about 50 minutes but it felt like 2 hrs and my stomach was getting upset from all the bumps and turns. But the clinic experience made it all worthwhile. I checked blood pressure, blood glucose, and explained exam results to the locals who came. Okay, I won't bore you guys with the details... There is one incidence though that I have to tell you! I was at the blood pressure desk and two ladies came over with their little kids. One boy really wanted me to take his blood pressure but we were not prepared for children so I only had an adult-sized cuff. Just as I was feeling disappointed a friend took out a cuff for kids from his bag! Oh how excited we were, especially the little boy. I got the cuff on him and explained to him what I was going to do. Then when I started pumping, the needle on the pressure guage did not move at all! It was broken...We couldn't take the boy's pressure after all. The ladies smiled and said it was alright and they left. But two minutes later they were back and the mother said his son would not leave without having his blood pressure taken. She gave me a wink and I knew exactly what she meant... so I took the kids pressure cuff, put on his tiny arm and explained to him the procedure again and took his 'blood pressure'. It was great to see him smile and leave the building happily. When I came back home I could not forget about how such a small gesture made such a big difference :)

Well, now after all that fun is over it is back to studying. Awesome...

You know you are a medical student when...

2009-11-06T17:34:00.000-08:00

...you say you are going to eat just to get it over with. (the exact words from a fellow med student)
Our Mini II was rough, a solid reminder of Mini III in first semester. The grades came out today and I regretted checking them right after I did so. Biochemistry was my worst grade, AGAIN, even though I always study the hardest for this subject. Sigh... sometimes you are just left speechless by the unexpected, undesirable outcomes. Effort in vain? Sometimes it feels like that. A professor apparently wrote part of the exam even though he did not teach any part of it for this mini - the reason why some unfamiliar questions were on the exam. The MPS was really low for Physiology (58) and Anatomy (55). In the case of Anatomy, where 55 is the absolute lower range for MPS, it means that as a class we did terrible. But I don't think we are stupid? Maybe that tells us something about the exam itself... A lot of students were dreading the grades update. I saw lots of frowning, sighing, and head shaking since the scores were posted. These Mini's can make or break you in a way - there is a cumulative final at the end of this semester covering all the materials of Semester 1 and 2. A lot of us are banking on doing well on the Mini's to cushion the potential 'fall' on the final exam. But looks like that hope is nearly shattered for many students.

Now there are positive things to talk about here. Don't let my med school rant fool you! Since this week has been somewhat light, a couple of friends and I went to a local restaurant called Riverside... because it's located by a river, literally! It's got really good food but overpriced (like the rest of Dominican restaurants and grocery stores). I had a grilled chicken sandwich with a salad on the side. Yum! However, tomorrow I am finally resuming my Saturday market routine so I can have my Blue Marlin again. We chatted as we ate about how easy it is to lose yourself and everything that's important to you in your 'previous' life in all the studying here. And we try to make sure that doesn't happen. I can't begin to tell you how many students here - who are smarter than smart folks can ever be - are socially inept and completely lack empathy! It is still shocking to me, as I am usually sensitive to others' emotions and can pick them up relatively quickly. I do admire how smart some of those people are, but I hope they get better at picking up emotions - for patients' sake.

It's 10pm here and there is a Splash Bash party going on. Many friends of mine went. I didn't go because this week is my relaxing week... even though I have been sleeping 8 hrs a night for the past 4 nights. It is amazing how one full 8hr sleep after sleep deprivation makes you realize how exhausted you are. I couldn't drag myself out of bed this week at all without effort. But today I felt great and I am back to the grind! Med school... I am going to show you what I am made of! Definitely not Tofu ;)

Everybody loves Kung Fu fighting!

2009-11-03T07:16:00.000-08:00

Ah, a day of no pressing deadlines. Post-mini relaxation, simple as that. After the exam yesterday I cleaned up my room and spend the evening at my friends Andra and Yasmin's apartment. It was quite relaxing. We talked (not about the exam), made guacamole, cooked pasta, and laughed so much! Andra and I both just wanted to stay in and have a quiet night but Yasmin wanted to go out - I suppose the existence of 4 different Halloween parties nearby was a big enough temptation for someone who was not feeling as exhausted as I was. We were helping her trying to come up with a costume idea - but it was difficult due to lack of resources on this island (especially at 9:00pm). But suddenly the idea of Kung Fu panda came up when Yas walked by with an elastic hairband around her head. It was a brilliant idea. I painted her face and in the end she looked adorable with her outfit on! Some of my guy friends dressed up as girls and one of them dressed up as a 'mediasiter'... of course only Ross students would know the humor behind that. Anyhow, we did not forget about Halloween even though we are far away from home.

This morning, despite the absence of an alarm clock, I still woke up at 5:00am. But I forced myself to sleep more. Didn't work hahaha... oh dear. Well I think after checking my email I will head back for a nap. Today is Independence Day in Dominica as well and most stores are closed. However, their festivities started in early September - can you believe that? Dominican people sure know how to party! :)

Time flies here - when all you do is study. That is in some ways really nice because I can't wait to see my friends and family back home. I also miss Chai latte, Kimchi, and the Futomaki rolls... the mere thought of them makes me drool. This Saturday I need to goto the market and fill up my fridge again. Since last week my fridge has been quite empty because I was hermitting for the exam - did not have the mind or the energy to goto the market. But that shall be fixed this weekend. And I will be cooking again!

Well I hope everyone is doing really well. Work hard, play hard.

If I could turn back time...

2009-10-29T07:36:00.000-07:00

It's been crazy for the past 2 weeks (or more?). Actually, when is it NOT crazy here? Mini 2 is in 4 days and this one is hurting already... DPS is not on this Mini yet we have never had so much material to study for. Speaking of cramming, I wish I refined that skill to perfection in undergrad hahaha. Oh well. Three nights ago we had a thunder storm at around 1:00am. It was so loud that my house was shaking. The lightning would light up the room completely that for a second it felt like daylight. I was quite terrified by the loud noise, worsened by the fact that I was by myself without Miho to cuddle with me. To calm myself down I just got up and put on some jazz music and cranked it up loud enough to drown out some of the thundering. Then I studied till 5:00am and passed out. Yeah this week has been rough.

Yet, my heart always gets lifted by the rainbow after the storm. Dominica has some big bright rainbows. Here is a photo to share with y'all (taken through my dirty window), though it looked more beautiful and breathtaking in real life.

Two more students in my class went home this week and last. They decided that this path wasn't for them. I don't know about the details but this doesn't surprise me anymore. People come, people go. Medical school is not easy and certainly isn't for everyone. Confession: I have actually wondered this past week why oh why did I so eagerly get myself into this big mess hahaha. However, I am not doubting that medicine is what I wanna pursue. I just whine sometimes about how difficult it is... Despite all the challenges, late-night Monsters, and power naps, I still enjoy it - but it definitely is a love-hate relationship.

I have significantly cut down on my gym time for the last few weeks (once a week only!). Sigh... that I still need to work on. Balance balance balance. If only it is as easy as spelling out this 7-letter word. Ok back to studying... can't wait for my full 8-hr sleep on Monday night. Hope everyone is doing well :)

Chill pill?

2009-10-21T17:45:00.001-07:00

I am looking for my chill pills. Perhaps I ran out? Right now they would come in handy when you are facing something like 40 diseases and what feels like 100 enzyme deficiencies to learn for ONE subject in the next 10 days. Oh biochemistry... What have I done to you that you must torture me like this?

Haven't posted for a while - simply couldn't find time. When I did have time I wanted to sleep because I have been so deprived of it haha... medical school... only for those who are crazy. Biochemistry actually is very interesting and I am liking every bit of it. We learned about disorders in Heme metabolism, Purine/Pyrimidine metabolism, and Amino Acid metabolism - a lot of manifestations that we see in those patients are starting to make sense to me! But then... I get sad when I look at the long list of diseases and their causes that I have to memorize... yeeeesh.

We also started renal physiology today. That wasn't bad either. But I must force myself to get off the computer and go study now... Will write more soon! Hope everyone is doing well :)

ps. That is my kitty Miho in the photo. Isn't he handsome?

Hirschsprung

2009-10-11T03:59:00.000-07:00

Hirschsprung's disease is due to the lack of Auerbach's plexus in between the two muscle layers of muscularis externae in the bowel wall. It is also referred to as congenital megacolon. Some regions of the large intestine are permanently contracted due to the absence of relaxation signals from the parasympathetic ganglia, forming dilatations upstream of the contraction. This disrupts the normal pattern of peristalsis.

Anyhow, school has been going well. Very interesting material yet a LOT of work. I am slaving away everyday at the books but happily doing so. My Mini I went really well, to my surprise. I actually got better grades than I did in Semester I! Oh boy... of course I am not complaining. Just working away for the next exam this Friday.

My partner that was TA-ing with me officially quit. I told the students that I am willing to do TA sessions for them still if they need me - just need to send me an email in advance. Then earlier this week I received some emails in my inbox requesting for TA sessions. And that is scheduled for today in 2 hours. I really enjoy tutoring and I am so happy about all the positive feedback I have been getting from the students! That is what I wanted - not so much the positive feedback but the fact that I am helping them understand the course material and making their lives easier in med school. It is an amazing feeling that is hard to explain.

Anyhow I'd better get some of my own work done and then go wake myself up some more... Love to everyone! Enjoy life 'cause it is great from just about every angle.

The relief that follows.

2009-10-05T18:10:00.001-07:00

Mini one is over. A friend made a very interesting comment today. He stated that he still does not understand why the school refers to the exams as Mini exams when they drain you inside out and cause you so much stress and exhaustion that Monster becomes your favourite beverage. The answer? No one knows. Perhaps these exams need another name.

To recap, last week I did go full speed studying for this Mini and it felt like I was studying for a final. Last night I went to bed at 10pm, making sure that I got enough sleep before walking into the exam hall. But before I closed my eyes I thought about how I still felt as if I didn't know a lot of material well enough. Wish there was more time... if only... if only. Oh well. My brain and my body were tired.

This morning I woke up at 0530am. Quickly reviewed some high yield points and ate breakfast. Making sure I stay calm and relaxed has always been my priority on the exam day, even the week before the exam. High anxiety level shuts down my system and I don't learn anything when that happens. This semester is a big challenge with the amount of information but if stress can be channeled elsewhere I think I should be alright.

The exam started at 0800am today. Quite early compared to last semester - always at 1300pm. Anyhow, the exam was mostly fair, but it was TRICKY. Oh my goodness was it ever! The basic concepts were taught to us but I was thrown off by the way many questions were stated, especially in Physiology and Neuroscience. Most of the questions required backward thinking - aka. diagnosing. And that is a completely new way of thinking for me in terms of academics. I have always been learning the forward way, which is how we were taught. Even the practice questions were not entirely 'backward'. I feel that this exam is a hit or miss. Gotta wait for the grades to come out now. In the mean time I am gonna catch up on some Anatomy that I did not get to really study for this mini - just to make sure I do really well on the practical exam in 2 weeks! No big breaks. Always moving forward :)

This week we'll learn about the GI system. Looking forward to it!!

Brains cut sideways.

2009-10-01T18:00:00.000-07:00

I am giving myself 5 mins to write something on this blog before my mind gets filled with cranial nerves and steroid hormones again. The library is full with students - everyone's faces are hidden behind either laptops or stacks of papers. Finally I have calmed down after an hour of gym time this morning. Up till last nite the stress had taken over my mind and body and I could not get rid of the anxiety I was feeling every second. So much to do, so little time. But the workout this morning had helped. I am not exactly relaxed but I am no longer anxious. Tonite I am going to try to finish up Neuro as we have a practical exam tomorrow. Then after the practical I will go full-speed for the Mini exam on Monday! I will just do my best... and try not think about how much I have to learn in the next 3 days. Sometimes I think those who attend medical schools are truly crazy. And of course, I am one of them. Gotta get back to studying now. Will update everyone after my exams! :)

ps. You can always tell from my pictures whether exams are approaching! Awesome...

Crunch time to the n^th power!

2009-09-26T09:20:00.000-07:00

This week is going to be pure insanity. Two exams coming up in a row in 8 days and I can feel it inside my bones. Anatomy is a bit frightening this semester in terms of content. I just came back from the Anat lab actually, after a long review session with my lab partner this semester. He is so smart and a really awesome study partner! We quizzed each other and that really helped.

Now I am back at the library and hoping today will be an extremely efficient day... I think I am a little stressed even though I am not fully aware of it. The reason why I think that is because I haven't slept well for the past four nights. I kept waking up every two hours or so, thinking it was time to wake up and goto school. I hope tonight will be different...

Alright back to studying. I wanna nail this first exam!

Little things, big impact.

2009-09-18T06:45:00.000-07:00

I got a bit caught up in the school work since classes started that I hadn't posted for a while. But today is Research Day and that means no class! And here I am writing away. Finally I am back in my study groove, full on. It did take me a little more than a week to shake off the vacation laziness. Semester 2 is so far so good, much more interesting than Semester 1 yet the load is heavy. Neuroscience is the new challenge this semester - we have to know the brain and spinal cord inside out, wet and dry. It is amazing how such little structures control EVERYTHING we do. The spinal cord itself is about the diameter of your fingers, give or take. I held the human brain to study it and was amazed by its solid texture. It did feel like hard tofu - maybe slightly on the softer side. All the gyri and sulci are beautifully carved in. The cranial nerves were a bit of a pain at the beginning, as it was almost pure memorization of their origin, the foramina they pass through, their route, and what they innervate. But then it became sorta fun to trace them (or I am MAKING it fun so I could focus and learn). I have most of the stuff down. Just gotta repeat repeat and repeat more. My favourite cranial nerve right now is CN VII - facial n. It has several functions, including innervation of muscles of facial expression, salivary glands, lacrimal (tear) glands, and detect taste from anterior 2/3 of the tongue. Oh and what is more interesting is learning the muscles that control all the facial expressions! For example, orbicularis oris is your 'pucker' muscles and together with buccinator they allow you to make the 'blow-fish' face. I could go on and on about this...

We also had a dissection of the orbit, which contains the eyeball. It was neat. We got to take the eyeball out of the socket and look at the socket from the front and fromt the top. We also learned about the 6 muscles that control the movement of the eyeball. It was so interesting! I wish I could take the eyeball out and show you guys how each of the muscle acts. You would be impressed by the intricate organization of our bodies! The stalk behind the eyeball that connects it to the brain is the optic nerve. And the 6 muscles are: superior/inferior oblique, superior/infereior/medial/lateral rectus.

Earlier this week we also had a lot of endocrinology lectures and those were interesting as well. We focussed on hyperthyroidism and hypothyroidism, stress hormone cortisol, and epinephrine (adrenaline). I am so excited for the rest of the semester! Anyway I should get back to studying as there is a LOT to study.

Guess what I am holding in my hands in the photo? AVOCADO! Yes they are as big as my hands/face and so delicious! I remember how small the avocados looked back home. So pathetic compared to the Dominican ones! Right now it is avocado and orange/tangerine/grapefruit season. I am going to gorge myself with those before the season ends! Have a good weekend everyone :)

Crack a skull like an egg?

2009-09-11T05:21:00.001-07:00

On Wednesday we had our first Anatomy lab for Semester 2. I must say that I am very excited about the rest of the lab. Our first session was to dissect a human skull and remove the brain. I was one of the dissectors of the group (of course I would volunteer to do anything that is even remotely morbid haha) and MAN was I happy that I did it. My lab mates were awesome and we really worked well together as a group. Alright, so to give you an idea of what sort of amazing things happened in that lab here are the steps of what we had to do with our body (cadaver...):

1. Make 4 cuts in the scalp of cadaver and peel/reflect the scalp as if you are peeling an orange. You may need a tool to help you detach the scalp from the cranium. I just took what was closest to me - a chisel.
2. Once you have reflected the scalp just below the supraorbital ridge, which is where your eyebrows are, stop. We then put an elastic band around the head of the cadaver just 2cm above the ridge. Marked it. And reached for the sharp-looking saw.
3. Yes, then we were sawing away at the human skull. It was hard! Our body had an especially hard head. Because sawing was a draining task, we got the only male in our group, Ray, to do it. He was good at it but sweating like mad nonetheless. He even had to take a few breaks. The burning smell of bones were everywhere due to the friction created. My eyes watered from the formaldehyde in the air.
4. So now we made a nice dent with the saw on the frontal area of the skull. How do we get to the sides and the back of the head? We tried turning the neck of the cadaver like other groups. Nope, our body had a stiff neck. Great! So we had to turn the entire body! It was dead weight and what a workout it was! Elisha gave an awkward laugh when the cadaver's hand poked her in the ribcage (and stayed in that position for the rest of sawing process). As we were trying to flip the body over to get to the occipital bone, something interesting happened. The body bag under the cadaver folded and made a crease angling downward aiming right at my right leg. The next thing I knew was the sensation of a cool liquid hitting the side of my right knee and flowing downward all the way into my shoe. Then I felt it cooling my toes down. Yes, it was the juice from the cadaver that had accumulated in the body bag. Oh well, what could you do? It was only half way through the lab haha!
5. Finally we made a dent all the way around the skull. Put down the saw and picked up the hammer and chisel. The anatomy lab sounded like a construction zone with all the groups hammering away at the human skulls. Yanking, chiseling, pulling. Eventually with a nice sound of tearing a bone away from the tissue attached, we opened up the skull of our cadaver. There it was - the beautiful human brain. It was breathtaking - not just because of the smell but because you could see all the complex gyri and sulci that directed everything we were able to do as human beings.
6. Then with much effort, we took the brain out and studied it, washed it and soaked it in a bucket.
7. As soon as we finished the lab I ran home to wash the cadaver juice off my body. Oh, did I mention that my gloves broke as well and my arms were covered in splatters of body fat.

It was an awesome lab. And it will only get better (or worse, depends on how you look at it) as the term goes on - can't wait for the labs on the gastrointestinal tract! Wooot! The photo above was taken when I borrowed a real human skull (and the rest of the skeleton) from the lab for studying. I never thought skulls/brains were amazing till now.

Today is the last day of week 1 of semester 2. Lots of things to study already but I feel calm. Before school started I made sure I had my share of island fun and went kayaking (1 seater) and sailing on a catamaran twice! Oh so much fun in the beautiful ocean! The water was warm and royal blue. The sky was wide and open. The sun was blinding but its powerful rays were masked by the wind blowing across the surface of the ocean. At the end of each day during the break I was tired but happy.

Ok this post is too long and y'all are probably falling asleep reading this. Anyhow I gotta get back to studying. Ciao!

Nature's Artwork

2009-09-03T13:23:00.001-07:00

Finally I found time and energy to hook my out-of-battery camera to my laptop and upload the overdue photos I took on my flight back home. The beauty of nature never ceases to amaze me and I have to share a few with y'all.

And of course, my baby Miho is also a nature's gift to me :)

'Don't know why there is no sun up in the sky' - as Natalie Cole sings. Stormy weather, it's been like this for the past few days. My landlord lady Sara calls it 'September weather'. Hurricane season is definitely here.I picked up my course packets today from the offices, surprised that they were open. Only Biochem and Physio were ready. I flipped throught the notes briefly. This semester will be interesting and I am quite excited about it. Just a few more days and the pace will quicken once again. Ran into some friends from last semester who just returned from their vacations - it was nice to see that most of the people I know are moving onto second semester.

This semester I am going to try to TA some courses, if it's possible. This way I can keep my mind and knowledge fresh at hand. We'll see. I talked to Cathy the coordinator and she said she'd get back to me about it. Hopefully it goes through and she gives me a green light to be a TA. Other than that I am just excited about the new semester, especially Gross Anatomy!!

Love and kisses to all my friends out there!

5 more days till Semester 2 begins!

2009-09-01T16:22:00.000-07:00

This has been the longest no-blogging period for me. I spent a brief week at home (Vancouver) and spent some precious time with my lovely parents, my kitty, and my friends. It was good to be home, even though it was a short stay. However, I didn't get a chance to really relax during that week because there were so many things packed into my schedule - no regrets though, obviously! Vancouver will always be my favourite food source - mmm yum yum! The neverending plates of fruits and veggies, Sushi and Kimchi, Thai and Pho... you name it. Yes, perhaps I was a pig in my previous life.

The flights back to the island were really tedious - I had 3 to 4hr breaks between all my flights. Thank goodness my friends from Ross came to pick me up from the airport. Truthfully, part of me wanted to come back to Dominica. I love this island and its beauty. And I have made some amazing friends here. I felt like I was returning to my second home.

Second semester is coming up. I am quite excited about it. Study hard and there will be satisfactory results! Most of my friends made it to second semester. Some did not, unfortunately. The new incoming class has arrived, even bigger than our class - some are saying there are around 600 students. That is crazy because Ross is probably going to try to fail half of them... Buckle up because this ride is not going to be smooth!

There was a Welcoming BBQ for the first semesters today, and obviously I went. FREE FOOD - always welcome. The ocean view with sunset was gorgeous - I was so astounded by the nature that I went for my second plate of food! It was delicious - burger plus more! But I am getting tired now and will try to get back into my regular schedule - early night and early morning.

Promise to post pictures soon! :)

Seattle... not too impressive.

2009-08-20T20:02:00.000-07:00

But I am almost home and nothing can stop me now - except the fact that Greyhound was sold out for the earlier ride. And that unfortunate fact is making me spend 4 extra hours in the States before I can head home to Vancouver. So the flights were not bad. I met three really nice ladies/girls on two separate flights and learned some Spanish that I soon forgot. But that is alright - I was running on 3 hrs of sleep and lots of excitement. From the plane I took lots of beautiful photos of the landscape, which I will upload once I am back in Dominica (I left my camera cord there).

Ah, it feels so amazing to finish the first semester and feel like a survivor. All these hours spent sitting down and bending over the books suddenly seem so trivial. The important thing is that I did it! And if I was to use one sentence to sum up my feelings right now, it would be - the world is mine to conquer! Okay you may think that is a bit silly...

I am sitting in a coffee shop in the WestLake Mall in Seattle (as shown in the photo). It is one of the few places that closed at 9pm. Everything else, including all Starbucks, closes at 6pm on a weekday. What a joke! I am used to having coffee shops open till 11pm, or even better - 24/7. That was frustrating - I did not want to sit at the dirty and creepy Greyhound terminal for 4 hours with a bunch of sketchy people. But I guess I have to spend a whole hour with them before I could get on the bus and pass out. I am so exhausted and not feeling so well. I think the AC on the planes are to blame.

Oh well. I am almost home :) My holiday begins!

Uncertainties

2009-08-17T14:46:00.000-07:00

The campus closed down yesterday at 6pm because of the tropical storm warning, 2 days before the final exam. And they told us that it would re-open on the morning of the exam day. For students who always study on campus - that was a disaster. The next thing you know, everyone was rushing to shop and stock up on groceries like it was the end of the world. I thought about doing that for a second. Nah... didn't do it. Had my butt planted in the chair for a few more hours till the campus was closed. If the storm was gonna hit and all the stores were closed I would just run across the street to my friend's apartment to beg for food and shelter hahaha.

Tomorrow is my exam - 1pm. I can't wait to write it now. No I am not completely ready and no I don't know everything I should know. But my brain is exhausted. I could almost hear it protest against having more information funneling into it. Prayers are welcome! Today I took two big breaks and packed one suitcase. I was planning to move tomorrow but decided to do part of it today - because tomorrow I will be going OUT right after the exam and actually live a little. How exciting! Something to really look forward to.

I am at my friend Lila's place right now and she is out hunting for food :)
Last haul. Fingers crossed!

ps. I just found out that my webcam actually has those crazy ugly frames so I decided to get creative while I slack off! Excuse my tired look...

Bad news?

2009-08-16T10:53:00.000-07:00

So there will be a tropical storm hitting Dominica tonite. Then 2 hurricanes - Bill and Ana - coming Tuesday and Thursday, respectively. That sucks. My flight is on Aug 20 Thursday right between the two storms!! :( Looks like there is a high chance that I won't make it home this break. But I am still hopeful... or in denial. Apparently Bill is hitting us with a Level 3. Great! Right on the day of the final as well when all we wanna do is party. Maybe I can fly myself home...

This is messed up.
I can't focus on studying now...

What just happened?

2009-08-11T17:55:00.000-07:00

Yes what just happened? I think I have just written the hardest exam by far in my life... I know I complained about Mini 2, which - compared to this Mini 3 - was A PIECE OF CAKE. Oh man. A friend's words precisely describe the effect of this exam: 'Mini 3: 122, Student: 0. This is the first exam that made me feel like all the hours I put into studying had just gone to waste.' The repeating students who had written Mini 3 from last term said this one was RIDICULOUS. A lot of students did not even manage to finish the exam. Imagine that... well, I am hurting but it could be worse? Haha at least I am trying to tell myself that. Ross is rough like that.

After the exam I went to my friend Polina's and just jammed with her for HOURS. Music, my life saver. Polina is an amazing guitarist and songwriter. It just happens that we have very similar taste in music. I love singing and she loves playing. We clicked and the music healed our wounded little spirits (post-exam trauma), partially. Next term we are gonna try to play at the talent show here :) It really is nothing though - no one ever goes because everyone is busy studying. But we both know that we need it. That gives us something to work on and look forward to other than just studying day after day like a machine.

I am beat. But tomorrow morning I am going to put on my speedo and goggles and go work out in the pool - rain or shine. Because it has been missing from my life for the past 3 weeks.

Last exam - final - Aug18. Then my lovely home Vancouver. Prepare yourselves!

PS. Crossing my fingers for decent exam results..... let me pass let me pass.

I Want Your Life

2009-08-08T16:40:00.001-07:00

[Check out my FIRST pair of Crocs. I can't believe it either...]

Unforgettable, that's what you are. Unforgettable, though near or far. Nat King Cole's soulful voice fills my mind in between my draining study sessions. I haven't been singing much for the past month, and that I miss greatly. It reminds me of the days when I used to work with the endearing cancer patients - the way we laughed and sang and enjoyed music in silence. The way we were all brought together by soothing melody. Music is not in my soul, it IS my soul. I was just getting better at the blues style of singing before I left Vancouver. Sigh, medical school - what a perfect example of a love-hate relationship.

I used to be much fitter (now I am getting jiggly... partly due to my foot injury). I used to bike everywhere (Dominica is NOT made for bikes, let alone my skinny roadbike). I used to sing and play piano whenever I want to (no pianos here) and jam with my buddy Cam (he is in Vancouver and most students here are just too afraid to think about making time for music). I used to eat very healthy (don't even think about it here unless you are like my friend Lila... she is just too amazing). Studying does take up most of my time. And I know that other medical students are going through similar feelings, but it just sucks sometimes. 'Don't lose your personality!' Sorry, but it is a little hard not to... ;) Oh of course I will not lose my personality. I still sing in my room while I isolate myself like the rest to study for the exams!

Alright so to say a little about the exams - Histo practical was yesterday. It was not so easy as the first and I think that is because we had less time to study for it. The hardest portion was pulmonary - all the cross sections of bronchi and terminal and respiratory bronchioles were hard to distinguish. Most of my friends felt the same about the exam. But it's behind us now. Gotta study like mad for Mini 3 on Aug 11. Then a week after that is the final exam. So close to going home! I can feel my heart race at the thought of being home with my family, friends, and Miho.

Back to the deadly Biochemistry. [Photo below is my cardiac cycle diagram. I heart cardio physiology!]

3 More Exams

2009-08-07T03:58:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I wrote my Anatomy practical exam. To me it seemed a little less easy than the first. There were quite a a few heart and lung questions. Unfortunately most hearts were really shriveled and mutilated and therefore making it difficult to orient ourselves when we stand in front of this cut-up organ with 45 seconds ticking away. I wasn't completely happy about the exam, but I think the results shouldn't be too bad. Fingers crossed and no time to dwell - today I have my Histology practical in 1 hr and 45 mins. Then right after this exam my Canadian girl Allie (also my future roommate for next term) and I will go hardcore and nail the Pulmonary Physiology. That subject is pretty difficult, especially with all the formulas tossed back and forth. But I will do my best to understand how to apply them before the Mini 3 exam on Monday.

It's been more than 2 months without running for me, and close to 1 month without swimming (due to the cold/flu). I am slowly going insane... thank goodness there is still Pilates. Maybe I have A.D.D.? It seems like I just have way too much energy to spend and I NEED to move and jump around. This sitting-for-the-whole-day business just doesn't flow with me here. Alright back to studying!!

Scrambled eggs for the soul...