Happy new year!

Once again, I don't know how this year just flew by... Med school keeps pulling wool over my eyes and clouding my initially 20/20 vision haha... All is good though. I'm sure that by tomorrow night I will have finished reviewing the materials entirely for the first time (phew). Of course it needs to be repeated, preferably more than once. I have been doing UWorld questions and find them to be somewhat difficult. Lots of thinking and integrating are required! But I'm definitely learning a lot from those questions. The only thing is that I am moving slower than I had hoped to. Unfortunately I can't rush myself to be any faster - my brain only processes at this cursed speed... sigh.

There are 10 more minutes till Jan 1st of 2011. I spent (most of) today studying. Only took a few hours off to eat dinner with family and to bond with my guitar :) I love learning to play the acoustic. Just wish I had more time for it. Hahah.. so many wishes!!

Many of my friends are celebrating tonite on this special NYE. And I truly wish I could be there. But I have to set my priority straight this time. Just 40 more days and it'll be show time. I gotta be ready :) To all my buddies out there who are getting crazy tonite - ENJOY (extra for me)! For the other med students slaving away like I am, keep going because we are almost there!

And happy 2011 - only 2 more years till we get the golden license.

Need some juice...

Does anyone know where brain juices are sold? I prefer the kinds with super high IQ levels. It's been 2.5 weeks of studying for the Step and I'm finding it a bit exhausting. While I do feel that my brain is enlarging in weird areas as I study away, I find myself often fantasizing about sleeping in and not having to wake up till noon.... Kinda pathetic, huh.

Vancouver has been extremely rainy, cloudy, and cold (winter?). Perhaps that helps to keep me home at my desk chewing away at the endless information I need to shove into my skull. I really do wish I had a photographic memory of some sort. Why was I not born with that awesome genetic mutation??? ;) Don't worry... I am happy with how I was born. Certain things can not be changed, such as how many noses you have (and I only have one).

I'm starting to notice that Endocrinology is not my strength at all. I guess you could group some Physiology in it too. Some concepts take me forever to think through and memorize. Then, what happens? I forget in a few hours.... UGH!! I wonder if it is this frustrating for anyone else who is studying for a board exam. Alright, I think I shall look over some flashcards and goto bed.

Good night everyone! Hope you don't get insomnia... :)

Step 1... quite literally..

It's been 1.5wk since I arrived home in Vancouver. And it's been 5 days of studying, according to my scheduled plan, for USMLE Step 1. So far so good. What I find is that I actually am able to study at home, for now anyway, contrary to my previous belief. The biggest bonus of studying at home is the fact that I don't have to properly dress myself everyday or fix my crazy bed-hair in order to present myself in public. Hooray for the bum life! Another awesome benefit is that I could get up and move around or stretch or dance around the house whenever my butt hurts (from long-term sitting). This definitely would not be as convenient if I was in a public library - disturbance is not tolerated in those places! Of course, I can't forget to mention how wonderful it is being able to see my parents and my kitty Miho :)

I have been maintaining my gym time, although it has been reduced to 3 times a week only. It works like magic - those crazy endorphins are my friends! Before I started my Step prep, I asked for advice from many friends/students who have already taken the Step 1 exam. I wanted to know how they pulled themselves through the 2 months (minimal) of mental brutality. And a consensus was to always include a stress relief into the study plan. However, I can't seem to be as 'stick-to-the-plan' as some when it comes to exercise. Some students goto the gym everyday at 6pm, for example. I can't do that... haha too lazy on some days! So I try to listen to my body and brain as much as I can. When my brain farts, I know it's time for a workout, no matter what time in the day it is... Oh those glorious brain-farting moments!

Ok back to work!

Christmas and study plans..

So happy to have finally arrived home. Being away for so long really made me realize how much I am blessed with and how much I missed home. After a few days of rest and being surrounded by my lovely family, I am going to organize a study schedule today and start my Step 1 bootcamp this weekend. Here it is. It's show time. This is going to be a real test of my determination and self discipline. It's a fresh start and a challenge. All that I claim to be is going to be proven now.

In the past 2 years I have experienced all sorts of ups and downs, covering the entire spectrum of human emotions. There were times when I felt to be on top of the world and other times when I just wanted to stop and give up all hopes. What brought through this craziness? Real friends and an amazing family. It sounds super corny, I know. But nothing can be more true than this. When you go through trouble, friendships are tested and many fail. The few that are left are the ones that you know you must treasure :)

And of course, my furry baby Miho keeps me alive always!

Home... almost :)

A cup of dark chocolate mocha and a toasted bagel. My guitar and myself. Even the delay at SeaTac airport doesn't seem so bad now. Last nite was a bit of a disappointment when my first flight (Alaska) did not take off for almost 2hr with all the passengers sitting in the cabin. I knew I was going to miss my connecting flight in Seattle and my fear was confirmed shortly afterwards. Got a hold of my mom and told her I was not going to see her for another 7hr. Alaska airlines put us in a hotel close by for the night and paid for our stay. I was happy they did that - can't imaging being delayed AND feeling unkempt early in the morning. I slept for 2hr last nite. And the night before I slept for 4.5hr because of the final next morning. Loaded myself on caffeine at the airport and now I feel great!

Today, I can truly say that USMLE Step 1 is my very next TARGET :) Bring it. Because I'm on my way and determined.

Finally, after 2yr I am home again and this time for more than just 1wk. I missed ya, Vancouver.

Below 0

9 more days until I pack my bags again, until I board another plane and leave Michigan. I feel like a traveler these days. Never stable in one place, always on the go. My bags are easy to reach, as if waiting to be filled again any time. Unfortunately this will be my life for another couple of years at least.

It has snowed in Vancouver, but still not yet in Saginaw. Temperature, however, has dropped to below zero in both cities. I contemplated running this morning, yet eventually opted for a tub of Häagen-Dazs instead. I just knew I needed it. One can think of it as replenishing the fuel. Yesterday I also found a cheese-free pizza! Interesting huh...

I'll be studying from today till the final for both the final exam and the 200 point check list physical exam. Focus. Go for it. Then go home. This week many of my classmates flew or drove home for the American Thanksgiving. Just me and another friend left here in our complex. Kinda lonely. But a good way to keep me focused on studying. 5th semester is almost over and Step 1 is almost here. Let's do this!

Flu - away!

Waking up early morning to cool air is never something I enjoyed. But my roomie is a furnace so I try not to leave the heat on. Sigh... will my body never learn to regulate my core temperature??

Wednesday I went to the flu clinic and administered 3 shots. It was a wonderful experience! My nurse said I did well :) The first shot was a bit scary with all the human emotions and empathy coming into the mix. Am I going to hurt the patient? What if the patient flexes? What if I don't inject correctly? All those questions were flying through my head until I realized that you just need to focus on that one spot on the deltoid and give it one quick stab. The needle slips in smoothly as the patient feels a slight pinch. Then it's done. Quick and easy.

Thursday night I submitted my 18page patient case report. It was a long day trying to finish the last section and polish the entire paper. Clicking the 'Submit' button never felt so good. Well, I guess it's going to happen again soon with this second paper I'm writing.

Friday we had ACLS class/stations all day. It was fun and educational. But it made me feel that I have a lot to learn! My brain didn't execute very well under super high pressure in life-threatening situation. But hopefully I'll get better as I become more familiar with the ACLS algorithms and the drugs/dosages given for each circumstance.

Time for a run outside I think... Gotta break through the clouds somehow!

'Cause you are amazing...

People say confidence can get you to places that you may not be able to reach otherwise. It is partially true. My experience here at Synergy as well as my classmates' experiences are opening up my eyes. As medical students many of us tend to be hard on ourselves and sometimes that sends off a vibe of anxiety, incompetence, and self-doubt. Often we need to remind ourselves that we know more than we think! Look at the exams we do - we walk out of it drowning in a sense of failure, but pleasantly surprised when we get our grades (not always the case but most of the time it is true). A patient that I examined once said to me after I told her I was slightly nervous during the procedure, "I could not tell at all that you were nervous! You totally knew what you were doing. " I always find that interesting and encouraging. Guess we just gotta believe in ourselves a bit more. Have more faith and know that you can.

I have been talking to some fellow Ross students who are currently going through the first 2 years slaving away. And it is interesting to see things in retrospect. I was there and I was stressed. Encouragement and support were what I needed. I wanted to hear someone tell me that I was capable of finishing that race. I wanted to hear those words while I felt as though I was never going to make it. I just want to say to everyone who is trying hard out there and feeling like the end is nowhere in sight - yes, it is just around the corner.

And yes, you can!

On that note, I am going to try to goto bed now and wake up early to finish my paper so I can write more papers...

1 month...

Had a crazy week, which is going to continue into the following week as well. Perhaps all the way till the semester ends now. But I can do it! :) I had my OB/GYN rotation on Wednesday and it was great! Got a bit nervous but hid it well. With the help of the OB I did a decent pelvic and breast exam on my patient. It was quite an experience - enjoyed the fact that I could put my book knowledge into practice.

It is getting really cold here in Saginaw. However, it has not snowed yet. Soon though - that's what the weather man said. My thickest winter jacket almost feels as if it's too thin! The coldness just gets into my bones...

I learned a new song on guitar during my non-study hours. If You Want Me by Marketa. I am finally getting somewhat comfortable with singing and playing at the same time. It does not help though that I am no guitar pro... ;) Also went out for dinner with a couple of friends from my class. It was great. I love our offside comments to each other and random sarcasm blended in with casual conversations.

I believe my flu clinic is coming up this next Wednesday at which I will be administering flu shots for people. That should be interesting as it will be my first time sticking needles in real human beings.

Alright I should get back to my papers... good nite y'all!

High Winds!

Pretty windy today. The news says Saginaw will be getting winds at 60mph. I went out for a run and almost got swept off my feet. I had to stop running for a moment and steady myself to avoid falling over. It was an enjoyable run nevertheless. Autumn is here and all the leaves are racing one another. Turning golden and leaping into the whistling air. As I ran I stepped over fallen branches and piles of dried leaves on the ground. The sound of autumn was everywhere. I liked getting caught in the middle of a powerful gust of wind and having leaves dancing across my body as I push myself through the thin air. The sun was warm and shining brightly. I must say that this season might just be the most beautiful one in my mind.

Back home now studying like a mad person. Midterm on Friday and a few papers due in the following week. Things are starting to pick up pace and I quite like it. One more month in Saginaw.

ps. African cats are the best.