Checkpoint 3!

This picture precisely describes my emotions and mindset after the exam just 10hrs before the photo was taken. Andra and I were at Riverside Restaurant getting some dinner and enjoying the conversations on non-school-related things. It felt great. I finally pulled through another semester. Well, not just another one, but a harder one in my opinion. This was the new 'first semester' as we had a new batch of challenging subjects to tackle. And even though the last month had been rough, I picked myself up (with help from lovable friends and family) and ran the rest of my race. Relief, is what has been filling my head.

Most of my close friends, if not all, have left the island yesterday and today to go home either in US or Canada to visit. On one hand I really wish I bought a ticket to go home this break, on the other hand I knew I needed to relax and stay fresh by staying here in Dominica. This break is too short for me to go back home and recover from chronic exhaustion! Plus, we all know that traveling is stressful.

Alright, so a little summary of the 1st half of second year of med school. It is getting tougher as we get higher (well, no doubt). Pharmacology was a difficult subject for me, especially because Ross has a relatively more condensed curriculum than others. I pushed my brain to the max and squeezed out all its juice this semester. Definitely maxed it out trying to remember all these drugs and everything about them in such a short time. Microbiology was tough but not as bad. I feel that if I had just a bit more time I could have improved my grades by A LOT. But, don't we all feel that way? Hehe.

I want to thank my Dad for being there for me when I needed someone the most (of course my Mom too). Something he said, something that I just needed to hear then, got me through this tough time and helped me stand back up. When I was feeling down and frustrated about my Mini 3 grades with everything else going wrong around me, my Dad reminded me of the marathons. He reminded me of the times (yes, more than once) when I had seriously injured myself during training and even had to have a time-out so I could recover. He wanted me to remember how frustrating and discouraging those times were. But I took time off to heal. And eventually I did complete my race. I ran, with satisfactory personal time.

We can never predict what lies head or when we will fall. What is more important is to keep your head up and not down, keep looking forward and not back. What does not kill you makes you stronger, MUCH stronger. Hang in there - for whatever you are trying to achieve :)

Gym time, for me.

Always pick up where you leave off. And keep on walking!

Last 12hrs of cramming/studying/increasing intracranial pressure. Well, I am finally back to myself even though the situation is not ideal haha... oh well, gotta be prepared for the unpredictable! Things happen but I can't let them bring me down. Two weeks of sadness is too much and I am putting an end to that :)

Studying with my friend Andra today. Wish we figured this out earlier cuz now things are coming together pretty good. We are coming up with mnemonics faster than the espresso maker cranking out strong coffee. Next semester we are just gonna do this and work together starting Day1 (now that we know we can totally beat this if we start early). Just wanna share a few mnemonics that we made up. PLEASE, if they are offensive in any way, keep in mind that they are just mnemonics to help us learn. Enjoy (all you fellow nerds)!

'GanDof plays laCross behind the Net.' (Ganciclovir, Cidofovir, Foscarnet are drugs to treat CMV-induced retinitis. They exhibit Cross-resistance.)

'Ami ODs her Cister with Platinum, not Aluminum.' (CisPlatin is an antineoplastic alkylating agent for bladder/ovarian ca. It is inactivated by Aluminum (needle material). It can cause nausea/vomiting and antidote is OnDansetron. It can also cause ototoxicity and nephrotoxicity due to free radicals, and antidote here is Amifostine.

'Low-pro-lide' (Leuprolide is a GnRH analog that inhibits LH/FSH production, and therefore reduce Prolactin, hence the Low-Pro. It is used in Prostate ca. This can cause testicular atrophy as a side effect.)

Ok I have to keep studying. Love you all and keep on smiling!

Gotta bounce back.

Last couple of weeks had been hell, somewhere mixed in the chaos were my friend Adrian's death, some bad luck on the practical exams, and high levels of stress caused by Pharmacology and Pathology. Mini3 scores are out and this is by far my WORST exam. I am not going to share my grades, but I'll just say - this almost made a hypomanic person (like me) depressed. Thank God for such amazing family and friends who gave me encouragement and support through the rough times. No, I am not a quitter. And I will kick the final exams right in the arse!!

I was chatting with my Dad today and mentioned how I wished I was a Pharmacist or an EMT or something between my undergrad and Med school. But my friends who did those things told me that I was better off just heading straight into Med school, like I am now. Is this just another greener grass on the other side sorta thing? I am kinda envious of their situation because they are not struggling to learn the drug names and uses. They could use their actual experience to help them out on the exam to answer those amazingly ambiguous questions because they had been there, seen that. Sigh... no point in complaining. God brought me here at this time for a reason and I just have to keep going.

Just do my best.

It is going to be a long night...

Only have time to say a few words here before diving back into studying again... We had our Pathology practical today. It wasn't too bad but still trickier than I expected. Hit or miss again.

Tomorrow we have a full day of studying and day after is the 3rd Mini. And let me tell you - it is TERRIFYING. I am trying the shove and pack all these drugs into my head (Pharmacology) and it feels like nothing is sticking. Hopefully this is just an unreliable feeling. Praying hard these days. Ok I will update soon after my exam with more interesting things hopefully.

My friend Adrian's memorial service was amazing - just thought I'd mention :)

In memories of a wonderful friend.

Loss, is a difficult concept. It is a hidden monster in the back of your memory that causes chaos when you are the least prepared. The most vulnerable. No moment is a good moment to lose someone you love, someone you have embraced whole-heartedly. Recently we lost a friend, a beautiful mind, a soul radiating positive energy. Two more weeks till his 24th birthday. Two more weeks till he reaches yet another milestone and moves one step closer to his dream of serving others. This news came so suddenly that it tore a big chunk off our aching hearts as it penetrated the thick air on this campus, stirring up endless questions without answers. Why? You wonder. Why him? Why such a lovable spirit?

I will remember you. You have left a deep impression in my memories. You are the inspiration of me and many others who have been touched by your love, your smile, your encouraging words. Your dream will no longer be carried by yourself, as we are all in this together and your dream is our dream. Let us remember our dearest friend Adrian. Let us not forget the reason why we are here striving for what seems so difficult to reach. Let us carry on with Adrian watching over us, surrounded by beautiful angels.

Finally, just reach for the phone and call someone you love but unable to see right now. Do tell them, that they have stolen a piece of your heart.



We miss you, Adrian.

22 Days

Here is me, representing the 'Canucks' during the football championship at Ross, singing Oh Canada! Second time around, but still super nervous! I guess that is why I am not doing performance arts for a career. Our girls won the game, but this time it was a tight one as the lower semester team was quite feisty! They were a bunch of small-framed girls but heck, I totally underestimated them. They did really well on the field, as did our girls.

So, I did my ICM exam on Monday and I was so bummed for the rest of the day. I picked out the JVP exam and I KNEW IT WELL. At least I thought I did. I had been practicing everyday for the week before for at least 2hr a day and I STILL forgot to describe the JVP waves to the examiner after the physical exam. Stupid me... I wish she gave me a hint like she did for some other students though. Even with a slight hint I could have given her a complete detailed description! Sigh, I still got nervous and that part just slipped my mind...

No breaks. Now is time to catch up in Pharm. The drugs are building up. Psychopharm is crazy (unintended pun)!!! I almost feel like I need to take some of these prescription drugs to keep myself grounded here. Today we have a Behavioural exam in which we will be performing an interview on a 'patient' to try to figure out the diagnosis by asking the right questions (hopefully). We will have 8min including the summary. I hope this one goes well...

And carry on.

Almost time for some heavy music!

This is an amazing painting that I came across today on the internet. Just wanted to share it with everyone, and I guess in a way to express how much I miss my violin, piano, and purely making music with friends. But I don't have to wait too long now for a little taste of paradise! This Friday our school is having a culture/talent show and my friend Polina and I will be playing for sure! We are the second to perform, which is great. We have been thinking about doing a song together since we met, and finally we acted on it (after 2.5 semesters)!

Today was an exciting day. We had our Standardized Patient exam in the morning. Basically each student is assigned another as a partner, pair up, and perform a 45min interview + physical exam on a 'patient'. Those standardized patients are volunteers, most of whom are spouses of the fellow Ross students. They were given a scenario and would be acting out the symptoms for the students being tested. We had a gentleman who presented with severe chest pain. But my partner and I worked well as a team. We missed a couple of things during the physical but these were not on the marking scheme. Basically, we got a perfect score! :) I am quite surprised and pleased about that.

It is interesting how important it is to practice doing physical exams with ONE very essential factor in mind. And that is - as (future) physicians, our focus should be the PATIENT. You would be surprised how many students get in the zone of the exam and forget that simple yet critical fact! We all get nervous because we are being graded on what we do and it is easy to forget that patient comfort is the number one priority! But my partner and I did well in that regard and our 'patient' was happy with that despite the chest pain, hehe. I must remember that as I continue with my schooling.

Anyhow, I sat down for 6hr after my exam and finished the rough draft of my paper (yes we have to write up a paper on the patient interview/physical exam). Now I am just waiting for a little feedback from my genius friends and will be editing it tomorrow before submission. And I am so happy that I finally got to talk to my dad tonite. I miss him so much! My mom is in China right now visiting relatives so I can't really catch her till she is back. We are just connecting via email at the moment. I feel really loved and I am grateful for that. Life is good.

Hope everyone is carrying on well! Remember to do something nice for someone today, or tomorrow :) because it feels good.

Rain

Our exam was over today. Thank goodness. Of course no one said it was going to be easy but no one said it was going to be this hard. HA! No, I saw it coming. There were some Pharm questions on the exam that required just straight up recall. It was either you remember it or you don't. That was the tough part. Path wasn't bad, but that was only because we have a professor who is an absolute sweetheart and she makes things so straightforward that there is really no guessing involved. Behavioural... let's just leave it at that.

It rained today and the air was fresh. The plants are happy and I could almost feel it. I went out tonite with some friends.. Normally I don't go out after Mini's but I felt the need to tonight. I have been studying so hard that I felt that my mind was gonna give. And some fun and relaxation were definitely called upon. Thank god for friends.

Tomorrow I have to wake up early and finish my PBL assignment and then get on with the day. I think we have a full day of class again. No breaks? A neverending journey huh... Just keep on trucking!

Dark dark days...

Four days till the dreaded Mini 2. Sorry for the lack of update. I have been trying to buckle down and focus on studying. Pharmacology has an insanely amount of material for us to memorize even though it has the fewest questions on the exam and also worth the least!!!

Praying...

A short and sweet summary...

It has been a struggle to wake up for the past 2 weeks in the morning. Apparently this is what a burn-out feels like and it will not get better from this point on (according to a 4th semester friend). Despite all this insanity, I have been making myself go to the gym at least twice a week. We'll see how long that is going to last. My body has been protesting against my long study days... BIG time, to the point where I couldn't ignore it anymore.

Our second Mini is in 12 days. Where did all the time go??? Really. I do not understand. Wish things would slow down a little so I could rest a bit. The second year of med school is so miserable, in all honesty, even though the content is amazingly interesting. Of course it is always 'so much to do and so little time x 1,000,000,000'. A very inspirational friend just got matched with her residency program recently! I am so proud and happy for her as I know EXACTLY how painful and difficult it is to get through all these years of torture. At the same time I am very envious and can't wait to be able to celebrate that wonderful moment myself. Must get through this...

On March 17 I will be singing at the school's talent show with a friend on the acoustic guitar. That will be a nice distraction from all the unhealthy study habits.

I miss Vancouver and wish I was home for the Olympic craze. 'Nuff said. Back to studying till my brain farts. G'night everyone!

ps. I put up Miho's picture because he just looks SO FUNNY in this photo... perhaps a little too serious??