skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Once again, I don't know how this year just flew by... Med school keeps pulling wool over my eyes and clouding my initially 20/20 vision haha... All is good though. I'm sure that by tomorrow night I will have finished reviewing the materials entirely for the first time (phew). Of course it needs to be repeated, preferably more than once. I have been doing UWorld questions and find them to be somewhat difficult. Lots of thinking and integrating are required! But I'm definitely learning a lot from those questions. The only thing is that I am moving slower than I had hoped to. Unfortunately I can't rush myself to be any faster - my brain only processes at this cursed speed... sigh.There are 10 more minutes till Jan 1st of 2011. I spent (most of) today studying. Only took a few hours off to eat dinner with family and to bond with my guitar :) I love learning to play the acoustic. Just wish I had more time for it. Hahah.. so many wishes!!Many of my friends are celebrating tonite on this special NYE. And I truly wish I could be there. But I have to set my priority straight this time. Just 40 more days and it'll be show time. I gotta be ready :) To all my buddies out there who are getting crazy tonite - ENJOY (extra for me)! For the other med students slaving away like I am, keep going because we are almost there!And happy 2011 - only 2 more years till we get the golden license.
Does anyone know where brain juices are sold? I prefer the kinds with super high IQ levels. It's been 2.5 weeks of studying for the Step and I'm finding it a bit exhausting. While I do feel that my brain is enlarging in weird areas as I study away, I find myself often fantasizing about sleeping in and not having to wake up till noon.... Kinda pathetic, huh.Vancouver has been extremely rainy, cloudy, and cold (winter?). Perhaps that helps to keep me home at my desk chewing away at the endless information I need to shove into my skull. I really do wish I had a photographic memory of some sort. Why was I not born with that awesome genetic mutation??? ;) Don't worry... I am happy with how I was born. Certain things can not be changed, such as how many noses you have (and I only have one).I'm starting to notice that Endocrinology is not my strength at all. I guess you could group some Physiology in it too. Some concepts take me forever to think through and memorize. Then, what happens? I forget in a few hours.... UGH!! I wonder if it is this frustrating for anyone else who is studying for a board exam. Alright, I think I shall look over some flashcards and goto bed.Good night everyone! Hope you don't get insomnia... :)
It's been 1.5wk since I arrived home in Vancouver. And it's been 5 days of studying, according to my scheduled plan, for USMLE Step 1. So far so good. What I find is that I actually am able to study at home, for now anyway, contrary to my previous belief. The biggest bonus of studying at home is the fact that I don't have to properly dress myself everyday or fix my crazy bed-hair in order to present myself in public. Hooray for the bum life! Another awesome benefit is that I could get up and move around or stretch or dance around the house whenever my butt hurts (from long-term sitting). This definitely would not be as convenient if I was in a public library - disturbance is not tolerated in those places! Of course, I can't forget to mention how wonderful it is being able to see my parents and my kitty Miho :)I have been maintaining my gym time, although it has been reduced to 3 times a week only. It works like magic - those crazy endorphins are my friends! Before I started my Step prep, I asked for advice from many friends/students who have already taken the Step 1 exam. I wanted to know how they pulled themselves through the 2 months (minimal) of mental brutality. And a consensus was to always include a stress relief into the study plan. However, I can't seem to be as 'stick-to-the-plan' as some when it comes to exercise. Some students goto the gym everyday at 6pm, for example. I can't do that... haha too lazy on some days! So I try to listen to my body and brain as much as I can. When my brain farts, I know it's time for a workout, no matter what time in the day it is... Oh those glorious brain-farting moments!Ok back to work!
So happy to have finally arrived home. Being away for so long really made me realize how much I am blessed with and how much I missed home. After a few days of rest and being surrounded by my lovely family, I am going to organize a study schedule today and start my Step 1 bootcamp this weekend. Here it is. It's show time. This is going to be a real test of my determination and self discipline. It's a fresh start and a challenge. All that I claim to be is going to be proven now.In the past 2 years I have experienced all sorts of ups and downs, covering the entire spectrum of human emotions. There were times when I felt to be on top of the world and other times when I just wanted to stop and give up all hopes. What brought through this craziness? Real friends and an amazing family. It sounds super corny, I know. But nothing can be more true than this. When you go through trouble, friendships are tested and many fail. The few that are left are the ones that you know you must treasure :)And of course, my furry baby Miho keeps me alive always!
A cup of dark chocolate mocha and a toasted bagel. My guitar and myself. Even the delay at SeaTac airport doesn't seem so bad now. Last nite was a bit of a disappointment when my first flight (Alaska) did not take off for almost 2hr with all the passengers sitting in the cabin. I knew I was going to miss my connecting flight in Seattle and my fear was confirmed shortly afterwards. Got a hold of my mom and told her I was not going to see her for another 7hr. Alaska airlines put us in a hotel close by for the night and paid for our stay. I was happy they did that - can't imaging being delayed AND feeling unkempt early in the morning. I slept for 2hr last nite. And the night before I slept for 4.5hr because of the final next morning. Loaded myself on caffeine at the airport and now I feel great!Today, I can truly say that USMLE Step 1 is my very next TARGET :) Bring it. Because I'm on my way and determined.Finally, after 2yr I am home again and this time for more than just 1wk. I missed ya, Vancouver.
9 more days until I pack my bags again, until I board another plane and leave Michigan. I feel like a traveler these days. Never stable in one place, always on the go. My bags are easy to reach, as if waiting to be filled again any time. Unfortunately this will be my life for another couple of years at least.It has snowed in Vancouver, but still not yet in Saginaw. Temperature, however, has dropped to below zero in both cities. I contemplated running this morning, yet eventually opted for a tub of Häagen-Dazs instead. I just knew I needed it. One can think of it as replenishing the fuel. Yesterday I also found a cheese-free pizza! Interesting huh...I'll be studying from today till the final for both the final exam and the 200 point check list physical exam. Focus. Go for it. Then go home. This week many of my classmates flew or drove home for the American Thanksgiving. Just me and another friend left here in our complex. Kinda lonely. But a good way to keep me focused on studying. 5th semester is almost over and Step 1 is almost here. Let's do this!
Waking up early morning to cool air is never something I enjoyed. But my roomie is a furnace so I try not to leave the heat on. Sigh... will my body never learn to regulate my core temperature??Wednesday I went to the flu clinic and administered 3 shots. It was a wonderful experience! My nurse said I did well :) The first shot was a bit scary with all the human emotions and empathy coming into the mix. Am I going to hurt the patient? What if the patient flexes? What if I don't inject correctly? All those questions were flying through my head until I realized that you just need to focus on that one spot on the deltoid and give it one quick stab. The needle slips in smoothly as the patient feels a slight pinch. Then it's done. Quick and easy.Thursday night I submitted my 18page patient case report. It was a long day trying to finish the last section and polish the entire paper. Clicking the 'Submit' button never felt so good. Well, I guess it's going to happen again soon with this second paper I'm writing.Friday we had ACLS class/stations all day. It was fun and educational. But it made me feel that I have a lot to learn! My brain didn't execute very well under super high pressure in life-threatening situation. But hopefully I'll get better as I become more familiar with the ACLS algorithms and the drugs/dosages given for each circumstance.Time for a run outside I think... Gotta break through the clouds somehow!
People say confidence can get you to places that you may not be able to reach otherwise. It is partially true. My experience here at Synergy as well as my classmates' experiences are opening up my eyes. As medical students many of us tend to be hard on ourselves and sometimes that sends off a vibe of anxiety, incompetence, and self-doubt. Often we need to remind ourselves that we know more than we think! Look at the exams we do - we walk out of it drowning in a sense of failure, but pleasantly surprised when we get our grades (not always the case but most of the time it is true). A patient that I examined once said to me after I told her I was slightly nervous during the procedure, "I could not tell at all that you were nervous! You totally knew what you were doing. " I always find that interesting and encouraging. Guess we just gotta believe in ourselves a bit more. Have more faith and know that you can.I have been talking to some fellow Ross students who are currently going through the first 2 years slaving away. And it is interesting to see things in retrospect. I was there and I was stressed. Encouragement and support were what I needed. I wanted to hear someone tell me that I was capable of finishing that race. I wanted to hear those words while I felt as though I was never going to make it. I just want to say to everyone who is trying hard out there and feeling like the end is nowhere in sight - yes, it is just around the corner.And yes, you can!On that note, I am going to try to goto bed now and wake up early to finish my paper so I can write more papers...
Had a crazy week, which is going to continue into the following week as well. Perhaps all the way till the semester ends now. But I can do it! :) I had my OB/GYN rotation on Wednesday and it was great! Got a bit nervous but hid it well. With the help of the OB I did a decent pelvic and breast exam on my patient. It was quite an experience - enjoyed the fact that I could put my book knowledge into practice.It is getting really cold here in Saginaw. However, it has not snowed yet. Soon though - that's what the weather man said. My thickest winter jacket almost feels as if it's too thin! The coldness just gets into my bones...I learned a new song on guitar during my non-study hours. If You Want Me by Marketa. I am finally getting somewhat comfortable with singing and playing at the same time. It does not help though that I am no guitar pro... ;) Also went out for dinner with a couple of friends from my class. It was great. I love our offside comments to each other and random sarcasm blended in with casual conversations.I believe my flu clinic is coming up this next Wednesday at which I will be administering flu shots for people. That should be interesting as it will be my first time sticking needles in real human beings.Alright I should get back to my papers... good nite y'all!
Pretty windy today. The news says Saginaw will be getting winds at 60mph. I went out for a run and almost got swept off my feet. I had to stop running for a moment and steady myself to avoid falling over. It was an enjoyable run nevertheless. Autumn is here and all the leaves are racing one another. Turning golden and leaping into the whistling air. As I ran I stepped over fallen branches and piles of dried leaves on the ground. The sound of autumn was everywhere. I liked getting caught in the middle of a powerful gust of wind and having leaves dancing across my body as I push myself through the thin air. The sun was warm and shining brightly. I must say that this season might just be the most beautiful one in my mind.Back home now studying like a mad person. Midterm on Friday and a few papers due in the following week. Things are starting to pick up pace and I quite like it. One more month in Saginaw.ps. African cats are the best.
I know this may sound trivial to many, but...I REGISTERED FOR USMLE STEP 1 TODAY!! It's finally feeling real and exciting, yet super intimidating. One exam, one chance to make it count. Gotta believe that I can do it!Damn, it is starting to feel good already... Buckle up because the road is about to get a little bumpy!
Today was the start of another meaningful journey in my life. A friend in the same class and I signed up to volunteer at a free clinic/pharmacy to help the underserved American population. After waiting for over 2wk, we finally got a call asking us to go in Tuesday morning.Woke up at 0630am, got dressed, and made myself some delicious breakfast. I decided that today had to be great. My friend picked me up at my place and we drove to the site singing in the car. Well, actually it was just me singing and my friend laughing at me... The sun pierced the clear glass and felt warm on my skin. Pleasant on a cold morning. We drove across the bridge connecting the flanks of the river and there it was - a plain cement office building sitting on a quiet street corner. Eagerly we got out of the car and went on in to find out what lay ahead.The program was called Community Prescription Support Program (CRxSP) - it is a nonprofit organization that serves the medically uninsured population in Saginaw, Michigan. The staff were amazing. Very friendly and dedicated. CRxSP at our location had only one RN, one pharmacist, and a few social workers. Most are volunteers. The doctor would go in once a week to review charts and adjust medications as needed by the individual patients. You might not think very highly of a small place like that with such a small staff. But they get on average 60 patients a day! DO THE MATH! That is incredible! 60 patients a day makes 1800 patients a month! These 1800 patients would have been paying $2500 a year for prescription with the money they don't have!This is a pioneer program involving us medical students. We are the first group to be experimented on - and I love it! Our doctor is amazing. He has already retired but volunteers his time to this free clinic/pharmacy every week, brings in medicine and supplies, and reviews patient files to ensure optimal patient care. Today was our first session and we did not get to see patients. But we were thoroughly introduced to the neat little expanding program and managed to go through 8 charts from various patients needing long term prescription. Our doctor made us think, asked us our opinions on the treatment plan, and treated us like colleagues. I felt good. Also felt that I need to study harder! ;)Next Tuesday we will have our second session. This time it will be in the actual clinic and not the pharmacy. And we will be able to do physical exams on these patients to assess their progress. Tomorrow I have my OBGYN rotation in the hospital and will be doing a pelvic exam on a patient. I hope I will also be able to attend a delivery (although chances are slim).One thing I know is that today was amazing and I will sleep well tonite! Keep on truckin'!
Wow, I certainly didn't realize time has just flown by here! It's almost half way through our semester. Since last time I wrote here we have had a suture clinic, and THAT was fun! We practiced our suturing on pig skin (on their hooves, to be specific). They taught us the 3 main ways of suturing: simple suture, vertical mattress, and horizontal mattress. I got pretty good at it eventually. Perhaps that had something to do with me liking to sew.
Then we had an OB clinic in which we learned how to properly deliver a baby. It's not as simple as you think - there are certain ways you need to hold a baby or help it come out before it flies off or drops onto the floor. They can be slippery! Unfortunately we only did a simulation - so no real delivery just yet. But at least now I know how I am supposed to bring a little life to the world :)
Our ACLS course has started and today we actually have a full day of procedures. We will be learning how to put in a central venous line and how to do a lumbar puncture etc. All the way from 7:45am to 5:00pm... I hope the day turns out to be awesome!
I got a guitar for myself since I last wrote on here and it has turned my world around. There is something about music, especially when it's produced from strings. That resonance - it penetrates you and makes you vibrate along with it. I'm gonna keep at it to see how fast I can learn new songs. Keeping me busy for sure! Alright everyone, will update soon. Have a good day even if it's cloudy outside!
Finally got a friend to email me the photo taken of us during scrub training. It was a fun experience. The opening performance of a long journey. Bring it.Wednesday I had my wound clinic where I got to be one-on-one with a doctor. It was amazing - I followed him into every exam room. Looked at different ulcers on 8 patients. Observed debridement and cauterization. I even had a few opportunities to assist the doctor in a few procedures. Checked out the HBO chambers and learned about the criteria patients have to meet in order to use those. What made me feel so happy that day was when I got to chat with a few of the patients and listened to them laugh wholeheartedly even throughout their painful debridement. It brought me back to the pre-med years when I was still working with the cancer patients back home. I felt true happiness.Thursday I visited the geriatrics again and did physical exam on my lovely patient. This time things were a bit smoother. My partner and I work well together. We are at the same pace and neither of us dominates the conversation. It is great! At the end of the day we all got assigned a project/presentation. I will be working on it right after I finish updating.Onto something a bit personal, recently I have been feeling a bit lonely in Michigan. It's a strange and interesting feeling. Kind of like what I felt near the end of 4th semester on the island. Don't get me wrong - my classmates are goo
d people and I do have a few close friends here. But everyone is so scattered and has their own schedule. Since I first started talking and making my own friends, I have been spoiled with precious friendships and neverending heart-to-heart conversations. Well, these are not there any more. At least haven't been there for a long time. I don't know if it is the distance or my choice of career... I miss my friends. My real friends. Those who will laugh with you about stupid things you say and are not afraid to tell you when you make a mistake. Those who don't just smile and compliment because they might need you later as a stepping stone. Why don't some people realize that fake and genuine smiles are very easy to tell apart?A good friend told me that I should go out and join some kind of club. Meet new people or something. Yes, I considered that. But with my schedule right now everything other than school-related things seems so impossible. Ok, I don't mean to sound depressing today... haha. Alright, here is something cheerful - I ran 8.5 miles yesterday all the way down to one of our hospitals and back! Totally thought that was 6 miles until I mapped it out (yes I map my running routes...). I surprised myself even though my joints were kind of shaky near the end.. sigh, the lack of training... Good night everyone!PS. Check out my ID! I have a face now :)
Today was relaxing. I got a ride in the morning to the Synergy library and spent my entire day there. Studied some, printed some, and wandered through the hospital hall ways. It's official - I LOVE the smell of a sterile environment, mmmmm!I ran into residents, doctors, nurses, and social workers - all on their feet going places, talking to patients and each other, flipping through charts, and responding to the non-stop paging... That will be me soon! Can't wait! But to get there, I'm starting from the bottom of the ladder again. This time things are serious every step of the way.Tomorrow I have my wound care clinic. Will update then!
I adore the amazing photographs of thunderstorms. The pure beauty of nature. However since I could remember things I had always been scared of them. It's the noise, the power, the intimidation. While I was still on the island of Dominica there were many tropical thunderstorms. I have stayed awake at night during each one of those with my pillow around my head, unable to fall asleep, wishing it would stop right there right then. I would play my music as loud as I could, trying my best to drown out the thunder. However, my effort was always in vain.Last night there was a thunderstorm here in Saginaw. I flinched at the first sight of lightning, grunted and cursed under my breath. Then the thunder came, somewhat gently, almost mockingly. My finger found the 'up' buttom for the volume and kept pressing it till my eardrum was tingly. I was listening to a piano solo by Andrew Ross called Diving In. A second lightning came through and my room lit up for a brief second, exposing every inch of darkness. The thunder rolled in quickly after, this time loud and powerful. I noticed that I did not cringe this time. And quite surprising, I was semi-enjoying it along with the piano solo bouncing around in my head. I pulled up some pictures of thunderstorms right then and caught myself being amazed once again by their majestic nature. The way they just take over.
Then another thunder rolled in.Last night the thunderstorm lasted for no more than 30min. I stayed up again during the entire time, unable to sleep. But this time I wished it to be longer, because I was just starting to fall in love with its noise, its power, its intimdating nature. And of course, its grace.
Finally eased back into a study mode after the exhausting break and first week of school. I was going to update a bit earlier but got sick 2 days ago with a fever yesterday. But I feel fine now. Blame the sickness on the cold cold days in Saginaw - the worse is to come? Haha oh boy...Anyhow, last week after some neverending orientation lectures we started some real lectures. Ophthalmology and Geriatrics were the main focus. The lectures in 5th differ from those in the first few semesters in that now they are longer and can have one doctor lecturing for hours before switching to something else. Lectures may or may not be scheduled in different locations so we have to drive around between lectures sometimes. I am not complaining because my friends in Miami have it much worse - what takes us 15min may take them over 1hr in traffic. Plus, I get driven around by my lovely friends here in Saginaw :) No complaints!We also scrubbed in for the first time on Thursday last week. I know those who are already doctors may think it's silly but I was excited about that. Even though it was just getting us accustomed to the strict procedures of cleaning a surgeon has to go through before entering the OR, I almost felt like a doctor. We had to scrub our hands/arms many times in a specific order, leave our hands up, enter the OR and dry our hands/arms in sequence, and then have someone gown us and glove us. It was pretty neat. Pretty sterile ;)This coming week I will be starting my clinics with the real patients. I will for sure update on that. I'm eager to learn more and faster (if only I wasn't limited by my brain capacity)! For now, I'm gonna do some reading to prep for what's to come. Hang in there everyone! You are only getting closer to where you want to be!
A place with a cool sun, at least that's what it feels like here in Saginaw. The air is crisp and gives a sensation of early winter for a person coming from Vancouver, like me. Our area is really nice and appears safe. Once I get settled in I will take some pictures.I slept on my friend's couch last night - could be worse I guess. Two more nights like this and then I will be able to move into my own apartment. Stupid labour day weekend!! Why did no one warn me about that?Gotta go study now. Will update soon!
After a 2wk hibernation I am back again. I just want to say Thank You to all my friends and family who prayed for me during my exam weeks. The support has been amazing and essential in my passing 4th semester and making it to 3rd year of medical school.Truthfully, I did not think I was going to make it due to the excruciating final exams. The night before the grades came out I had a nightmare about me failing 4th and having to go back to Dominica for another semester. In the last 2 weeks of school, ie the weeks of hell, I was drained physically and spiritually. I felt like I could not do it any longer. The nonstop learning and the very little time had me discouraged and exhausted. And after I walked out of my first set of final exam in the morning, I prepared myself for the worst.The grades did not come out for a few days since I got back home in Vancouver. My parents told me that I even looked very stressed out. My mom was worried about me becoming depressed... Pretty much I was a mess for a few days. Then the email came with the grades. I did not hesitate to open up the file to face the truth. If it was pain I was going to receive, I wanted it to be fast. Then there it was - my grades in black and the MPS in red. I quickly skimmed my grades and scrolled down to check the MPS. My heart was pounding and my head was hurting. When I went through the last subject without a fail, I ran to my dad and screamed 'I passed!' Then, to my surprise, I cried for a good 10min (what a whimp huh? i must have been really scared).Anyway, Michigan will be my next stop. But for now I need to start studying for Comp that's coming up quickly. All the paper work and doctor's visits are getting in the way though. But it is great to be home - my family, my Miho, awesome food, no sweating!, and my bed...Can't believe I have to leave again soon...
Quick update on my part...Mini 3 is over - difficult exam, as usual I guess. I need to really put my game face on for Micro. Our final will be next Thursday with two exams spread out in the morning and the afternoon. How exciting is that... 2 exams in one day! Gives us a taste of what the Step is going to feel like. You won't be hearing from me for the next few days as I study my behind off for my final. Wish me luck! And I will re-surface after I finish my second year of medical school :)All the best to everyone! Remember - have faith and believe in yourself because you CAN!!
So... I have a case of otitis externa! Exciting yet not really. Started to worsen yesterday and the alarm went off in my head. I dragged by lazy butt to the school clinic today and got some ear drops with antibiotics. Very interesting experience - I don't even remember the last time I had an ear infection. It probably was when I was super young. I can barely hear from my right ear right now - feels so strange. When this started last night I took the tuning fork and did a Weber and Rinne test on myself hahaha it was grand! I feel like everything I learned about the hearing test was just so clear all of a sudden! Love it when light bulbs go off when I am suffering...ICM practicals finished this morning and the grades came out. I did very well, just as the entire class did. Our average was 86%. The faculties say that every 4th semester ICM practical is usually a grade booster - thank goodness!!! I really needed it. Back to hardcore studying!! Two more weeks till I am home :)
Just sitting here reviewing Path right now.. reading about Fuch's dystrophy in the cornea. The thunder is loud outside. I am still not used to it, shuddering a little every time it roars. But my good friend Kathy kept me company on Skype, her being all the way across the water in Australia. I miss my friends back home. But I guess we are all on our way going somewhere doing something. The strongest bond in our hearts is what keeps us together.Yesterday I had my ICM practical in the AM. Bright and early at 0800hr. It was not as scary as I thought it was gonna be. However, that was only my feeling... and often feelings could be off. So we shall wait for the grades. Meanwhile, I have started packing up some of my stuff and organizing things that I am and am not taking. I can somewhat feel the "I am going back to civilization!!" excitement now.. although faint due to the upcoming exams.Anyway back to ICM practical. We had 4 rooms and I got 1 scenario (where patient has a complaint) and 3 task rooms. It was kinda fun actually - almost like playing a game, a mind game. Yes, those evil mind games... I misdiagnosed my Harvey (oops) but everything else went smoothly in the CVS exam. I feel that the secondaries went well too. Hopefully I made decent grades in that room!Alright, Skyping my lovely mother right now and Miho. Good night everyone! Tomorrow will be a good day :)
Thanks to all the friends who expressed concerns about me lately - well, I am alright :) It is just cabin fever and a huge burn-out I think. The end of the semester is near and I can do this. I just need to push myself for the last little bit.It's been crazy here with the weather. The rain is so unpredictable - it can just drop on you even with the hot sun sizzling above your head. I don't have an umbrella because mine broke a month ago. I figured I will just leave it like that - most of the time I am indoors anyway. Didn't want to buy another umbrella here - one less thing to pack. So far I only got rained on once (half-soaked).Pathology lectures and Pharm lectures are getting really intense. All the renal lectures, skin lectures, musculoskeletal and neuro lectures came one after another. High yield high yield high yield - everyone's brain is burning up. Repetition is key - but it's gotta be smart repetition. It is difficult to keep up with the lectures some days but I make sure I am not far behind.I chatted with someone in first semester today - and I felt so jaded haha, He was still excited about everything here even though he was also tired of studying. I am just looking forward to having this term over with and having a good night's sleep. It is hard to buffer all this stress - a friend of mine had diarrhea for an entire week (not cuz of food this time - we ruled that out) not too long ago. My body mostly responds to stress by not letting me sleep well at night, like last night - I kept waking up every couple of hours.:) But don't give up (wherever you are, whatever you do) - it hurts now and this may blur the outline of your goal. Just keep on moving and you'll see everything clear up again (if not, get new glasses with better correction).ps. The title is a quote from the FAMILY GUY!! (
it maintains my psychological well-being in time of stress)
I stopped by a local family restaurant to grab a bite yesterday, still bothered and frustrated by what has been going on lately in my life (some messy stuff not worth mentioning). There was a Dominican man working there with his wife. He had dreadlocks that brought me back to the high school era... Anyway, the TV was on at the simple little restaurant and Buffalo Soldier was playing in the background. I have always loved Bob Marley and really all Reggae artists. Not even noticing it, I started tapping on the table to the bubbly reggae beats. The man suddenly spoke, 'That's right, Mon!' I smiled and said, 'I love Bob Marley! His music relaxes me.' My friend sitting next to me said, 'I don't get him. And I don't get this kind of music.' This comment pulled a crooked smile out of the man and he said to us, 'Reggae, is a way of life.' For some reason, that sentence just stuck in my head. A way of life, that is, a lot of things we do or commit to doing - like Medicine. Although I wish it was as easy as listening to Reggae hahaha... oh man...Hurricane season has arrived and the tropical thunders are hanging around. I still get frightened by those loud roars. They make me miss home, among other things. There is also a Dengue outbreak in the Caribbeans. One of our professors caught Dengue fever and has been out of commission for at least 1wk. Poor guy. I heard he lost 10lb already - and he wasn't heavy to begin with! I hope he gets better soon.28 days till I fly home. But I am getting increasingly nervous about the upcoming exams. It is very weird - as I progress through the semesters I feel less and less ready, less and less competent. And the material has just been accumulating with no break. Is this just a burnout phenomenon? Gosh, I wish there was an antidote - 'cause coffee certainly stopped working, AGAIN!Back to studying...
Quick update before I hit the books again...Our 4th semester banquet is tomorrow at 5pm. Me and my 3 musician friends are going to practice one last time before we head over to Fort Shirley (location of banquet) to set up. I am kinda excited but kinda not - due to the HUGE amount of material to learn for this mini AND ICM practical coming up. Sigh... I almost wanted to skip out on the banquet. But decided against it... this probably will be the last time that all (most) of my classmates are together, until graduation anyway.Also, I am still waiting on a few apartments in Michigan to respond back to my questions...Back to studying!
Getting closer and closer to the end of 4th semester... yet I am getting more and more nervous. The exams keep getting tougher and the information load keeps getting bigger. I pray that I will successfully make it through my second year and move on to my next step!I finally started drinking 'milk' here after being deprived and becoming lactose intolerant for a significant amount of time. The milk here doesn't taste like milk though. Ok, the one I have in the picture is probably the closest tasting to real milk from back home. But still not the same. I just miss milk so badly...Something exciting to share with everyone - our 4th semester banquet is coming up. I do believe it is happening next Saturday, which is 9 days from now. I know.. it is a little strange that it is happening in the middle of the term instead of the end. But now is probably the best time. Many people are leaving the island on the day of the final. I, myself, booked for the day after the final to fly home! So.. no time to party then! It will be nice to see everyone all together. I can't wait.The MORE exciting thing is that 3 friends and I will be performing at the banquet. I hope it goes well. I am so stoked! We have 2 singers (I am one of them), 1 on keyboard, and 1 guitarist. And ALL OF THEM are absolutely AMAZING! We are going to do the song There You'll Be by Faith Hill - if you don't know this song, listen to it! It will get your emotions going... We felt that there really isn't another song that is more appropriate for this occasion - read the lyrics, they were written for us it seems!Ok I gotta get back to studying. Will update soon!ps. Our dogs are growing fast!
I am going to MICHIGAN for 5th semester! We received the confirmation emails today and I got accepted :) Not a huge accomplishment but I am excited nevertheless. Now I just have to focus on passing this semester!!The rest of updates will come after the Mini, which is on Monday. Wish me luck!
I had my second hospital rotation today at PMH - it was AMAZING! What made my experience so much better this time than last was that today I did not have to sweat at all - our physician had air-conditioning in his office (I was so thankful). Anyway, besides that... today was really eventful and let me tell you why.In the morning I rotated in Internal Medicine again. When I heard my assignment at first I was very bummed out - I already had Internal Medicine last time. And I was frustrated because I requested for Surgery at the beginning of the term but did not get any. But there are classmates of mine who got Surgery twice in a row! Anyway, I shook the hand of my doctor with the frustration simmering in the back of my mind.However, he changed my negative thinking into positive energy with only the first patient! He let my two partners and I conduct the interviews and physical exams on the patients, only interrupting here and there to steer us in the right direction. He quizzed us and stimulated us to think, to pull together the big picture and come up with many differentials! I finally feel like I am in Medicine! The cases were very interesting as well. First patient had a mechanical aortic valve and I got to listen to the irregular heartbeats as well as a SYSTOLIC (not diastolic) murmur! It was amazing! The second patient had a congenital VSD and he was 24! His murmur was pansystolic and you could not make out his S1, S2 heart sounds at all. He also had a Grade 6 murmur in his Tricuspid area from the VSD - ie, the murmur was audible even with the stethoscope a few millimeters off of his chest!!! These are real heart sounds in real people and they sound so much better than those we hear in Harvey! Our third patient had Familial Spastic Paraplegia and he had extreme difficulty walking. But he was independent, upbeat, and helpful to the medical students. I think he has done this many times because at one point when we were pondering one question our doctor asked us, the patient gave us a hint on what the answer was! It was hilarious. I think he could probably write my exam for me and get a better grade...Anyway, the bus ride back home was rough - our driver did not bother to avoid any potholes and I was in midair half of the time. Now I feel nauseated but made myself sit down and write about my experience before this flame fades tonite. I had a great day and hope everyone else did too :) Don't forget to give thanks!
Just a brief summary of what happened today. I sent out my application for 5th semester site selection. I applied for Michigan. And school tells us that we'll find out whether we get what we want on Jun 6th, which really means June 13th or later. But better late than never! :)Back to studying...
I woke up in the middle of the night sweating, so I turned on the air-conditioning. In the morning I woke up with terrible pharyngitis (sore throat)! Ugh... this is when I am not a fan of humid tropics. Temperature balance is hard to find...On the other hand, school has been stressful. This semester is packed with information and higher expectations. Integrate, integrate, integrate. My brain is burning and so is my body! 4 consecutive semesters of med school without a good summer break really is tough (now I truly understand the meaning of a summer break)... and want one badly. My mind is screaming for a vacation that probably won't come till a year later. I am trying to stay motivated, stay balanced, stay rested - all of which are floating somewhere in the thin air.We have a lot of Pathology for this Mini and my mind is messy. Microbiology is also filled with fungi and viruses. AHHH I am tired................................ I will dream about sleeping and doing nothing but resting...
Histoplasmosis is fungal disease caused by Histoplasma capsulatum. Lungs are frequently affected, leading to acute pulmonary histoplasmosis. In human body at 37C, the organism is in yeast form. It is transmitted by inhalation of spores from soil. It looks like a pocketful of jewel inside the macrophage in the picture. Initially macrophages get infected and act as vehicles that takes the fungus around the body via blood, thereby spreading the infection. Cell-mediated immunity will eventually kick in and eradicate the organism, if the host immune system is well-maintained.No puppy photos today... Good night!
The days have been rolling along nicely. Ever since the new additions to the house (the lovely puppies), my days have been brighter and better organized! Ironic, isn't it? Some may say that it is absolutely impossible to have puppies while in med school. But so far it has only affected me positively! A few friends of mine are also great examples (they have dogs as well). The best thing about the puppies is the love you can give them and the love they smother you with! While here in med school, the underlying stress I experience is relieved by the lovely little ones. The picture on the left is of Sera and the puppies.Mini 1 happened on Monday and the Beach Bash was in the evening. It was nice to see all my classmates, who had all become hermit crabs during the exam week. It was rough. 4th semester is challenging due to its goal of information integration. Yes, think like a doctor... and you must... I still find the material interesting and thus will keep the motivation flowing. ICM this semester is also full of suprises and challenges. We have learned how to perform the rectal exam, male/female genitourinary exam, and the breast exam. These procedures depend a lot on the doctor in order to make the patient feel more comfortable in the most awkward situations. Certainly some of our fellow students do not feel comfortable themselves at all - one even asked 'Do I really have to do these exams?'... That left me speechless.Soon we will receive the talks from each of the 3 sites: Dominica, Michigan, Miami - on what 5th semester is all about. Then we will be asked to pick our preference. Earlier there were a lot of students in my class who were going to Miami. But lately I have been hearing a lot more 'Michigan'. It'll be interesting to see who goes where. I think I'm going to try for Michigan. But I will keep everyone updated on the application process.72 days till I am off the island :) Next step? To the States.
School has been pretty even-grounded but the information flow does not stop. This is the semester to really bust it and start integrating all the knowledge scattered around in my brain. Oh yes I am trying...Here is some uplifting news - we have new additions to our little home here in Dominica. After the tragic incident I had been meaning to get my land lady Sera another pup for her to love and who will definitely love her back. Well they have arrived :) The picture is of the two of them. The brown one is named Daisy and the white one is named Pearl. They are sisters from the same litter. Sera has not stopped smiling since. And that puts my heart at peace. Love heals all wounds, not time.In the mean time, I am trying to stay on top of my classes. This semester I am tutoring with my friend Phil. We are doing all subjects for 3rd semester students. I really enjoy it and that's why I decided to keep tutoring during my last semester on the island. The courses keep getting harder but more interesting. I want to finish strong in the final months of my second year. Let's keep on trucking!Smile at someone today :)
Things are finally starting to return to normal again. Sera is feeling better and I am having flashbacks less often about what happened to Dixie. Now I can actually sit down with a clear mind and update you guys on my exciting experiences last week.First thing we had was the Simman session. Like I mentioned before, Simman is a simulation model of real-life patient. He has pulses, heart beats, and lung sounds. He can talk, moan, vomit (sound effect), and cough. We can measure his pulse, EKG, temperature, respiratory rate, and blood pressure and read the results from a monitor. The facilitator that was leading our session controlled what symptoms the patient would present all through a small touch-screen computer according to the specific disease assigned to our group. It was a 1hr session, but it went by fast. No one in our group had any ER experience so it was a bit of a gong show at the start. But we quickly organized ourselves better. Under the guidance of the facilitator and the direction of a group leader, we bounced questions and differentials off one another. It was great. I almost felt like a doctor (I would have REALLY felt like one if I knew what I was doing)! I heard crackles in the lower lobe of the right lung (pulmonary interstitial edema) - got me so excited! Anyhow, with some help we diagnosed our patient - H1N1. Unfortunately none of us in the group wore a mask... so we were all 'infected'. Definitely a good lesson - wear gloves AND a mask! Our facilitator said to us, 'Congratulations, your patient lives... but y'all now have H1N1.'Then on Thursday I went to the Princess Margaret Hospital (3 ICM groups) for our first rotation as a 4th semester student. We took a bus to PMH, which took about 1hr, and received our assignments for the day. I requested surgery but did not get it - apparently too many students requested for it! But I was assigned to Internal Medicine, which was amazing as well! The wards at PMH were old school: a dozen or more beds packed tightly together, separated my a curtain. The hospital appeared slightly run down but nevertheless tidy with some new renovation projects going on. The offices were small but the desks were still full with patients' charts. The doctors here recorded everything by hand, a system that is rapidly replaced by computerized sorting/recording in N.Am. hospitals. Our Internist was amazingly knowledgeable AND extremely friendly (I was surprised...)! We saw about 9 patients in 2-3hr or so and they all had different signs and symptoms. The beautiful part was that I have learned about most of the cases presented! What a wonderful review (and reminder of how much harder I should study)! By noon, I was already pooped. But I still had 6 more hours to go.In the afternoon, we were divided up into even smaller groups to do our patient interview and physical exams - this time, it was real :) Due to confidentiality I will only mention that our patient was 2wk post-op from an AP (abdominoperineal) resection. He had a colostomy bag attached to his lower left abdomen. Long story short, we finished at around 4 30pm, met with the surgeon (super friendly, once again), and discussed the case. I had such a great day but was completely drained - hungry, and tired.The bus ride home was long but I didn't mind it too much. Got home, took a nap, and got back to studying. Lots to learn... and I am looking forward to it!ps. Enjoy a recent picture of Miho. He is so handsome!
This is when I miss civilization and justice. This is when I miss home. Yesterday I was at the hospital the entire day doing my first rotation in 4th semester. And I had an exhausting but great day, until I arrived home. As I was walking back from campus I saw a huge crowd outside of my house. And I thought something happened to my landlord Sera. Then I stopped... when I finally saw what had everyone's attention - our dog was lying in a ditch right outside the front gate, twitching as he saw me coming. He started blinking rapid and twitching some more. I wanted to go pet him but I could not - all these huge long gashing wounds all over his body stared at me like monsters in a horror movie. His skull was cracked open. You could see his pink flesh all over bleeding away. I bit hard on my lip and turned away to walk back into the house. On the balcony I saw Sera broken into pieces. Every drop of her tears hit hard on my heart and it was painful. This dog was her baby. As she lived alone by herself in this house at the age of 80, the dog was her only company. Us students who stay every semester - we are usually studying, barely home. Her and the dog are the only permanent residents here, and he kept her company.From the bystanders and Sera herself I had the story of what happened - a local man walked by our house earlier in the afternoon and claimed that our dog bit him. He then left for a while and came back with a machete with the intention of killing the dog. And he did, using the machete and a big rock, right in front of Sera's eyes. Poor Sera. I wish there was more I could do. I wish I could turn back time and change this. Unfortunately that's impossible. Brutality like this makes me lose faith in this world and its people.Anyhow, I am going to update everyone on the simulation session and the hospital visit I had this week, but maybe tomorrow - when my mind is less messy. Take care everyone.
Yesterday was rough. I had been super tired for two days prior with some unknown cause. Then yesterday morning I woke up and was hit by extreme nausea. I stumbled to the bathroom and nothing came out. Exhausted and bothered, I went back to my room and sat down on the bed, hoping the nausea will ease. While slowly it seemed to be disappearing I suddenly get a crazy gurgling sensation in my abdomen... Uh-oh, I thought, this signifies disaster! And yes, a disaster it was. I swear that it felt like I lost 2L of pure water from my body. Later on around noon I started getting chills and within 30min I had a fever spike. Well, I definitely couldn't read any more lectures for the day (I had trouble steadying myself even), so I went home and lay in bed shaking in sweat. It was pleasant... not. First week of the semester and I caught a bug. Luck or no luck? You decide.While I was resting with a fever, my lovely friend Andra came by with juice and water for me and she actually stayed to watch one episode of House. That was very nice of her. After she left, I tried to sleep but couldn't - all I could think about were the symptoms I had and time of onset, trying hard to diagnose myself. I was happy that I finally understood the definition of ACUTE onset. When my fever subsided a little I skyped my mom and got her all worried (oops). But today I felt much better. The only thing that was still bothering me a bit was the dizziness I felt. But my tube was not leaking in either direction (think about it...)! Time to catch up on studies. Two more days and I'll be doing my first Simman session. Four more days will be my first hospital visit. Will update then!Have a good day and don't catch any bugs!
Not bad, first ICM session in 4th semester actually went really well today. Totally different from the ICM sessions I had in 3rd. This time the facilitator is quite awesome. He is so laid back and receptive to questions AND extremely knowledgeable. I am looking forward to this semester already (although I know I will regret saying this... or laugh at myself at least). Picture on the left is taken from Pagua Bay.I emailed my students from last semester's tutoring - all of them made it to 3rd semester! I am so happy. Almost feel like a proud parent. I have tutored most of them since their 1st semester here at Ross.Next week our hospital visits will commence. We have only two visits this semester to Princess Margaret Hospital (PMH) and I am quite excited about them. Two is better than none! I already know what my visits will be... Should I spoil it for y'all? I think I will! One of them will be Surgery and the other one will be OBGYN!! Hopefully I will get to see an actual surgery and a delivery. Ah, the anticipation...For now, I will get back to studying... the almighty diuretics.
The break has been treating me well. I have been indulging in endless sleep. It is wake up, and going right back to bed. My body automatically wakes at around 6 45am everyday. But at least I could go back to sleep without feeling guilty. And that, my friend, is what awesomeness feels like. The rainy days are starting to arrive. Somewhat refreshing as the heat dissipates. But I am not so used to walking around with an umbrella any more. Gotta get back into it again.
Many first semesters have arrived one after another. Today is their orientation day with a fantastic BBQ following immediately in the evening. Of course, expect me there (where the free food is). Time went by fast. It has already been a year and a few days since I started here at Ross. I have been chatting with some first semesters who were excited, nervous, unsure about what was going to happen. And that reminds me of my first days here - the beginning of an adventure. Like any adventure, I told them, you just need to have an open heart and be prepared to test your limits. Afterall, there is a reason why they are called adventures.4th semester is just around the corner and half way through it we will get to decide which site we would like to apply for: Michigan, Miami, or Dominica. Like I have mentioned before, Miami is also the default - ie. if you did not get picked by your preferred site, you will be automatically admitted by the site in Miami. Many people, however, apply for Miami to begin with (like some of my friends who are into urban life and hot weather). Don't blame them. Some of them really miss their BMWs and giant flat screen TVs ;) I think I will be tutoring again. I debated about it for a couple of days but then figured that I'd probably be unhappy and empty if I opt out of it. And what is the purpose of all this studying here if I am unhappy? Question answered.Before I head to the BBQ tonite I am going to sell some of my books again. Missing my family and friends in Vancouver but also loving Dominica :) Good luck to everyone in whatever you are trying to achieve! Just keep on moving!
Our grades were up today. And I made it. After all the crazy ups and downs I am going to do finish up the last little bit of second year of med school. Keep on trucking!Yesterday 7 friends and I rented a van and drove around the island. It was the most fun I have and in a long time. We first made a stop at Batibou beach (see first pic). Dominica has many hidden beaches like this one. White sand, colorful fish, blue sky, corals, and the warm blue sea. Finally it feels like a vacation in the tropics. The island is a lovely place. Anyway, we played around in the water for a while. Then decided to explore the rocks (we had to do some climbing). It was exciting! Two of the guys were so brave they actually jumped into the water and ventured out to climb the second, smaller rock (see second picture). I wish I could tell everyone that this is what we do all the time.. Unfortunately, this is (at least for me) the first time to explore the island so thoroughly. I took in every slice of nature, every little creature hustling in the bushes, all the sounds coming around us. This must be what heaven looks like.Anyhow, I only got 2 B's and 2 A's this semester. Hope
they will still let me tutor. I am going to talk to the office and see what they say. Tutoring as become a part of me now that I feel empty if I don't do it! Such a strange but pleasant feeling. I will be here enjoying the island while missing Vancouver. But either way, it will be grand :) At the end of the day, do not forget to give thanks and reflect on what has pushed you forward one step closer to your goal.
This picture precisely describes my emotions and mindset after the exam just 10hrs before the photo was taken. Andra and I were at Riverside Restaurant getting some dinner and enjoying the conversations on non-school-related things. It felt great. I finally pulled through another semester. Well, not just another one, but a harder one in my opinion. This was the new 'first semester' as we had a new batch of challenging subjects to tackle. And even though the last month had been rough, I picked myself up (with help from lovable friends and family) and ran the rest of my race. Relief, is what has been filling my head.Most of my close friends, if not all, have left the island yesterday and today to go home either in US or Canada to visit. On one hand I really wish I bought a ticket to go home this break, on the other hand I knew I needed to relax and stay fresh by staying here in Dominica. This break is too short for me to go back home and recover from chronic exhaustion! Plus, we all know that traveling is stressful.Alright, so a little summary of the 1st half of second year of med school. It is getting tougher as we get higher (well, no doubt). Pharmacology was a difficult subject for me, especially because Ross has a relatively more condensed curriculum than others. I pushed my brain to the max and squeezed out all its juice this semester. Definitely maxed it out trying to remember all these drugs and everything about them in such a short time. Microbiology was tough but not as bad. I feel that if I had just a bit more time I could have improved my grades by A LOT. But, don't we all feel that way? Hehe.I want to thank my Dad for being there for me when I needed someone the most (of course my Mom too). Something he said, something that I just needed to hear then, got me through this tough time and helped me stand back up. When I was feeling down and frustrated about my Mini 3 grades with everything else going wrong around me, my Dad reminded me of the marathons. He reminded me of the times (yes, more than once) when I had seriously injured myself during training and even had to have a time-out so I could recover. He wanted me to remember how frustrating and discouraging those times were. But I took time off to heal. And eventually I did complete my race. I ran, with satisfactory personal time.We can never predict what lies head or when we will fall. What is more important is to keep your head up and not down, keep looking forward and not back. What does not kill you makes you stronger, MUCH stronger. Hang in there - for whatever you are trying to achieve :)Gym time, for me.
Last 12hrs of cramming/studying/increasing intracranial pressure. Well, I am finally back to myself even though the situation is not ideal haha... oh well, gotta be prepared for the unpredictable! Things happen but I can't let them bring me down. Two weeks of sadness is too much and I am putting an end to that :)
Studying with my friend Andra today. Wish we figured this out earlier cuz now things are coming together pretty good. We are coming up with mnemonics faster than the espresso maker cranking out strong coffee. Next semester we are just gonna do this and work together starting Day1 (now that we know we can totally beat this if we start early). Just wanna share a few mnemonics that we made up. PLEASE, if they are offensive in any way, keep in mind that they are just mnemonics to help us learn. Enjoy (all you fellow nerds)!
'GanDof plays laCross behind the Net.' (Ganciclovir, Cidofovir, Foscarnet are drugs to treat CMV-induced retinitis. They exhibit Cross-resistance.)
'Ami ODs her Cister with Platinum, not Aluminum.' (CisPlatin is an antineoplastic alkylating agent for bladder/ovarian ca. It is inactivated by Aluminum (needle material). It can cause nausea/vomiting and antidote is OnDansetron. It can also cause ototoxicity and nephrotoxicity due to free radicals, and antidote here is Amifostine.
'Low-pro-lide' (Leuprolide is a GnRH analog that inhibits LH/FSH production, and therefore reduce Prolactin, hence the Low-Pro. It is used in Prostate ca. This can cause testicular atrophy as a side effect.)Ok I have to keep studying. Love you all and keep on smiling!
Last couple of weeks had been hell, somewhere mixed in the chaos were my friend Adrian's death, some bad luck on the practical exams, and high levels of stress caused by Pharmacology and Pathology. Mini3 scores are out and this is by far my WORST exam. I am not going to share my grades, but I'll just say - this almost made a hypomanic person (like me) depressed. Thank God for such amazing family and friends who gave me encouragement and support through the rough times. No, I am not a quitter. And I will kick the final exams right in the arse!!I was chatting with my Dad today and mentioned how I wished I was a Pharmacist or an EMT or something between my undergrad and Med school. But my friends who did those things told me that I was better off just heading straight into Med school, like I am now. Is this just another greener grass on the other side sorta thing? I am kinda envious of their situation because they are not struggling to learn the drug names and uses. They could use their actual experience to help them out on the exam to answer those amazingly ambiguous questions because they had been there, seen that. Sigh... no point in complaining. God brought me here at this time for a reason and I just have to keep going.Just do my best.
Once again, I don't know how this year just flew by... Med school keeps pulling wool over my eyes and clouding my initially 20/20 vision haha... All is good though. I'm sure that by tomorrow night I will have finished reviewing the materials entirely for the first time (phew). Of course it needs to be repeated, preferably more than once. I have been doing UWorld questions and find them to be somewhat difficult. Lots of thinking and integrating are required! But I'm definitely learning a lot from those questions. The only thing is that I am moving slower than I had hoped to. Unfortunately I can't rush myself to be any faster - my brain only processes at this cursed speed... sigh.
