Below 0

9 more days until I pack my bags again, until I board another plane and leave Michigan. I feel like a traveler these days. Never stable in one place, always on the go. My bags are easy to reach, as if waiting to be filled again any time. Unfortunately this will be my life for another couple of years at least.

It has snowed in Vancouver, but still not yet in Saginaw. Temperature, however, has dropped to below zero in both cities. I contemplated running this morning, yet eventually opted for a tub of Häagen-Dazs instead. I just knew I needed it. One can think of it as replenishing the fuel. Yesterday I also found a cheese-free pizza! Interesting huh...

I'll be studying from today till the final for both the final exam and the 200 point check list physical exam. Focus. Go for it. Then go home. This week many of my classmates flew or drove home for the American Thanksgiving. Just me and another friend left here in our complex. Kinda lonely. But a good way to keep me focused on studying. 5th semester is almost over and Step 1 is almost here. Let's do this!

Flu - away!

Waking up early morning to cool air is never something I enjoyed. But my roomie is a furnace so I try not to leave the heat on. Sigh... will my body never learn to regulate my core temperature??

Wednesday I went to the flu clinic and administered 3 shots. It was a wonderful experience! My nurse said I did well :) The first shot was a bit scary with all the human emotions and empathy coming into the mix. Am I going to hurt the patient? What if the patient flexes? What if I don't inject correctly? All those questions were flying through my head until I realized that you just need to focus on that one spot on the deltoid and give it one quick stab. The needle slips in smoothly as the patient feels a slight pinch. Then it's done. Quick and easy.

Thursday night I submitted my 18page patient case report. It was a long day trying to finish the last section and polish the entire paper. Clicking the 'Submit' button never felt so good. Well, I guess it's going to happen again soon with this second paper I'm writing.

Friday we had ACLS class/stations all day. It was fun and educational. But it made me feel that I have a lot to learn! My brain didn't execute very well under super high pressure in life-threatening situation. But hopefully I'll get better as I become more familiar with the ACLS algorithms and the drugs/dosages given for each circumstance.

Time for a run outside I think... Gotta break through the clouds somehow!

'Cause you are amazing...

People say confidence can get you to places that you may not be able to reach otherwise. It is partially true. My experience here at Synergy as well as my classmates' experiences are opening up my eyes. As medical students many of us tend to be hard on ourselves and sometimes that sends off a vibe of anxiety, incompetence, and self-doubt. Often we need to remind ourselves that we know more than we think! Look at the exams we do - we walk out of it drowning in a sense of failure, but pleasantly surprised when we get our grades (not always the case but most of the time it is true). A patient that I examined once said to me after I told her I was slightly nervous during the procedure, "I could not tell at all that you were nervous! You totally knew what you were doing. " I always find that interesting and encouraging. Guess we just gotta believe in ourselves a bit more. Have more faith and know that you can.

I have been talking to some fellow Ross students who are currently going through the first 2 years slaving away. And it is interesting to see things in retrospect. I was there and I was stressed. Encouragement and support were what I needed. I wanted to hear someone tell me that I was capable of finishing that race. I wanted to hear those words while I felt as though I was never going to make it. I just want to say to everyone who is trying hard out there and feeling like the end is nowhere in sight - yes, it is just around the corner.

And yes, you can!

On that note, I am going to try to goto bed now and wake up early to finish my paper so I can write more papers...

1 month...

Had a crazy week, which is going to continue into the following week as well. Perhaps all the way till the semester ends now. But I can do it! :) I had my OB/GYN rotation on Wednesday and it was great! Got a bit nervous but hid it well. With the help of the OB I did a decent pelvic and breast exam on my patient. It was quite an experience - enjoyed the fact that I could put my book knowledge into practice.

It is getting really cold here in Saginaw. However, it has not snowed yet. Soon though - that's what the weather man said. My thickest winter jacket almost feels as if it's too thin! The coldness just gets into my bones...

I learned a new song on guitar during my non-study hours. If You Want Me by Marketa. I am finally getting somewhat comfortable with singing and playing at the same time. It does not help though that I am no guitar pro... ;) Also went out for dinner with a couple of friends from my class. It was great. I love our offside comments to each other and random sarcasm blended in with casual conversations.

I believe my flu clinic is coming up this next Wednesday at which I will be administering flu shots for people. That should be interesting as it will be my first time sticking needles in real human beings.

Alright I should get back to my papers... good nite y'all!